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Femme Fatale
(Reviewed August 19, 2002, by James Dawson)
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A monumentally bad Brian DePalma movie (oops, that's redundant) with an ending that is so staggeringly stupid I am tempted to blow it in this review, but I'll try to resist the urge. And you won't even get to hear the great Lou Reed song anywhere in the whole mess. Bastard!
Rebecca Romijn-Stamos is laughably bad as a leggy badass on the run from fellow conspirators in a Paris jewel robbery. The only watchable part of the entire movie is the long, mostly no-dialog heist scene near the beginning of the movie, which also features lots of soft-core and patently ridiculous lesbo make-out action in a ladies restroom. Score composer Ryuichi Sakamoto ("The Last Emperor," "Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence") contributes a terrific takeoff on "Bolero" that accompanies this "Mission: Impossible"-style set piece.
Later, Antonio Banderas surfaces as the world's most unlikely (and unbelievable) freelance photographer-cum-stalker, allowing the Hitchcock-corpse-defiling DePalma to clumsily rip off both "Rear Window" and "Vertigo" in the same film.
If the makers of the not-so-hot-itself "La Femme Nikita" had back-room lobotomies, they still could come up with a better movie than "Femme Fatale." If you are desperate for nipple shots and sapphic smooching, go rent a "Where the Boys Aren't" porn tape instead of shelling out for a ticket to this bomb. That way, at least you won't have to suffer through any "acting" scenes.
Back Row Grade: F
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