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- Just Looking
(Reviewed September 8, 2000)
- Imagine "Summer of '42" written by a Hebrew School dropout after a lobotomy. This cheap, Jewish-and-Catholic-and-Italian-stereotype-filled, badly acted bomb was
directed (I use the term loosely) by Jason Alexander of "Seinfeld" fame, who proves that he really should stick to acting. The boy who plays the lead character is so off-puttingly fake that he must have been
conceived, born and raised in a TV sitcom production office. The wooden actor who plays his friend seems to be channeling Gary Coleman, except without even the pretense of charisma. The only actor in
the
entire movie with any appeal whatsoever is the lovely Gretchen Mol, who not only looks good but does not come off like a community theatre reject.
As I butt-shifted and yawned through this
boring
snore, I was reminded of the absolutely horrible and thematically similar "Coming Soon."
That movie was about a modern-day teenage girl in search of her first
orgasm.
This one is about a 1950s teenage boy obsessed with the idea of seeing people screw. Interestingly smutty premises, right? But both films manage to be so unappealing, unfunny and just plain dull that even
I
found them offensive and stupid--and I've written for porn magazines!
Also, everyone buying a ticket to either of these movies should bear in mind that they technically are watching kiddie porn,
according
to the US government's definition (children in sexual situations). Hey, look, Joe Lieberman, you fascist would-be censor! Kids talking about sex! Kids trying to watch people have sex! Kids using
profanity to
describe sex! Quick, notify the Justice
Department, you free-speech-hating jackass!
(I hated this movie, but I have an even lower opinion of politicians who want to decide which bad movies I can have the opportunity to hate. VOTE
LIBERTARIAN, PEOPLE!)
Back Row Grade: F
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