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K-19: The Widowmaker
(Reviewed July 15, 2002)
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Depressing, slow-moving, ultimately pointless slog about Soviet-era Russia's problem-plagued first nuclear submarine. If you're sitting at home wondering how you can spend eight bucks to feel totally bummed-out, jump off of your couch and hurry to see this thoroughly miserable-making movie.
Harrison Ford plays the sub's captain, looking constipated and pissed-off throughout, although thankfully with not too much of a fake accent. Liam Neeson is the guy who was captain and who doesn't like having to give over his command to Ford, but who remains ridiculously loyal to ye olde chain-o'-command even when things veer into "Caine Mutiny" territory. A bunch of unknowns play the bumbling crew members, who are portrayed as being such incompetent idiots that this movie could have been an American propaganda film "back in the day."
A documentary about this allegedly true incident may have been interesting, but there is not enough "story" here for a movie--at least not with this script. I guess "K-19"'s basic lesson--that anybody who serves in the military is placing his life in the hands of fools--is a good one, but one that is kinda obvious at this point. Or sure as hell should be.
Back Row Grade: D
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