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"A Knight's Tale"
(Reviewed March 31, 2001)
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My choice for a tie for the WORST MOVIE OF 2001, as of the end of the year's first quarter. That's right, folks--I've seen absolute dreck like "Caveman's Valentine," but even it was better than this jaw-droppingly inane mess. (The only movie equally as awful so far this year has been "Tomcats.")
I'll write more about why this medieval "Cop Rock" crock is so lousy (although the short answer is two words long: Brian Helgeland). Gad, it doth suck!
(Postscript added June 2, 2001)
A friend with three daughters wrote and asked me to elaborate on the above thrashing, because she was considering doing the unthinkable (i.e., taking the kids to see this misbegotten movie). Here is what I wrote to her:
God, I hated that piece of junk. It's just so condescendingly awful...one of those movies that both assumes the audience is retarded, and assumes that the audience won't mind being treated as if it is retarded. It's like that horrible show "Cop Rock," except in armor; the "classic rock" songs dropped into the soundtrack are often wildly inappropriate, and are used purely for "gimmick" value. The plot is like watching an episode of "Saved by the Bell" unfold. You know exactly where it's going every single step along the way, there are no surprises, and the only person in the entire production who can act is playing an annoying character who obviously is the writer's "look at how wonderful I am, I'm a genius" stand-in.
Who knows, young girls might like it, 'cuz it stars that dreamy Heath Ledger fellow. But I never would let any kid of mine go see something so calculatedly lousy and worthless. It's not even good "junk food!"
Back Row Grade: F-
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