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Men in Black II
(Reviewed June 29, 2002)
-
This movie is so bad, so unfunny, such a cynical, embarrassing piece of uninspired swill that it will make you want to go home and neuralyze yourself.
Will Smith, quite simply, makes my skin crawl. I can't stand that talentless, full-of-himself fool, who mugs, jives and grins throughout with a shockingly couldn't-give-a-shit, happy-go-lucky ineptness.
Tommy Lee Jones is better, but then again, Tommy Lee Jones actually can act. His deadpan disinterest throughout the movie, though, is pretty one-note stuff.
Seeing Lara Flynn Boyle looking like Michael Jackson with implants was incredibly depressing. I never watch her on "The Practice," because no one with an IQ over 20 possibly could bear to watch any TV show from David E. Kelley, so I wasn't aware of how deathly thin and freakish Boyle has become since the "Twin Peaks" days when she looked radiantly healthy and amazingly beautiful. "Men in Black II" has a short cameo by Jackson himself, which only drove home the disturbing resemblance between him and Boyle these days. YIKES!
The most astonishing thing about this movie is that, while it has lots of SFX and CGI aliens, they just don't look very good. For example, MTV "Jackass" Johnny Knoxville plays a two-headed alien, but the effects on his second head simply do not look "state of the art." (Better looking than Zaphod from "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy," but not great.)
And the script... Look, trust me on this, there is exactly one-and-only-one funny line in the entire movie. And I'll tell you what it is, to save you a few bucks. When an amnesiac-but-coming-back-around Tommy Lee Jones is about to step on a cockroach but changes his mind, the cockroach looks up and, in a British accent, says, "Damned decent of you." Well, I thought it was funny, anyhow.
Back Row Grade: F
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