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"Panic Room"
(Reviewed January 30, 2002)
-
They should have called it "Stupid Room," because it is so relentlessly moronic. This tragic waste of director David Fincher's talents proves that even the best director can't save a script that is hopelessly brain-dead.
Jodie Foster and her similarly asexual daughter lock themselves in the fortified "panic room" of their multi-story, zillion-dollar NYC brownstone when three thugs break in. Despite the fact that the leader of the thugs is a security expert, neither he nor his cohorts think to disable the security cameras with which Jodie and Jodie Jr. watch their every move. That is only one of dozens of logic lapses and insults to the audience's intelligence that pop up with maddening frequency. (Just wait until you see the scene where Jodie shoves her bare arm in an air duct filled with propane gas, ignites it, and comes out of the ensuing explosive conflagration without so much as a blister. Hoo, boy.) I would say more, but I wouldn't want to ruin the wholly predictable plot for anyone with a double-digit IQ.
Fincher films all of this dunderheadedness with real style and some great camera moves, but as the old saying goes, "You can't polish a turd." Oddly enough, one of the best-looking parts of the movie is the opening credit sequence, which goes Hitchcock's "North By Northwest" credits one better. If only the movie itself were as good...
Back Row Grade: D-
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