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"Rat Race"
(Reviewed June 10, 2001)
-
Excruciatingly unfunny, boring and insulting rip-off of the brilliant "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World." I hated this movie.
Jerry Zucker, one of the trio behind the first "Airplane" movie and the "Police Squad" TV series, is listed as the director of this dull disaster, which shows absolutely none of the wit or humor of those earlier efforts. I swear to God, I am not exaggerating when I say that I did not so much as smile (much less laugh) a single time during this shockingly bad bomb.
How could so many once-great talents produce such charmless dreck? How could John Cleese, former Monty Python member and co-creator of the brilliant "Fawlty Towers," think that this pathetic project merited his involvement? How could Rowan "Mr. Bean" Atkinson deliver a performance that is by far the worst of any (and that's saying a lot) in this timewasting turd? And didn't Cuba Gooding Jr. actually win an OSCAR a couple of years ago? (Of course, fellow costar Whoopi Goldberg also has one of the things, but her charms always have escaped me.)
Plotwise, a varied bunch of Vegas vacationers race to collect a two-million-dollar cash prize put up by a casino owner, while high-rollers bet on who will win. While "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World" made hilarious fun out of a basically similar premise (minus the wagering), "Rat Race" wants us to laugh at things like a busload of Lucille Ball impersonators (could there be anything more annoyingly unamusing?) and wildly daring cow abuse (perhaps the filmmakers thought nobody would remember "Me, Myself & Irene" and "Say It Isn't So," both of which came out within the past 12 months, and both of which included similar bovine "humor").
Every time you think it can't get worse, the movie always rises to the challenge. The climax is jaw-droppingly awful, playing like a payola promo for the rock group Smashmouth, whose appearance goes on...and on...and on.
How lousy is this film? In between checking my watch and wondering if time were standing hellishly still, I eventually found myself looking more often at background characters on the screen than at the actors, just to see if any of them were doing anything interesting. (Christ knows the main players weren't.) The only cast member I enjoyed watching was blond-and-perky Amy Smart, who runs around in a pair of tight stretch pants that do a very nice job of showing off her amazingly perfect ass and her flawless legs. Yum! But even those assets can't save this bowl-dweller from stinking to high heaven.
I know it's a cliche, but I can't help saying it: This is the kind of movie that should be used in film-school classes as the perfect example of how NOT to make a comedy. It's that bad.
Back Row Grade: F-
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