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"The Scorpion King"
(Reviewed April 8, 2002)
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Basically, an okay "popcorn movie" that delivers exactly what audiences will expect: good-natured, tongue-in-cheek, cheerfully dumb adventure. The Rock is no great thespian, but he is likeable in reliable "Schwarzenegger" fashion. (Actually, I enjoyed this movie much more than either of Arnold's Conan flicks, to which "Scorpion King" could be compared.)
Looking much better on the screen than she does on the movie's poster, Kelly Hu is absolutely ga-ga-ga-gorgeous as a skimpily clad sorceress. No kidding, whenever she is on screen it is extremely difficult to look at anything else. Can't wait for her upcoming spread in Maxim magazine. YUM!
You know, wouldn't it be great to see one of these movies played completely straight, like an actual drama where sword blows actually hurt and people don't jump right up after falling the equivalent of five stories? Imagine if Hollywood ever woke up and made a film based on Michael Moorcock's brooding, unreliable, doomed emperor Elric, for example. Picture Ralph Fiennes as Elric, torn with doubts, overcome with uncontrollable rages, bitter and distrustful of the God he serves. Well, okay, probably no blockbuster there. Then again, "Lord of the Rings" seems to be doing okay by sticking more-or-less faithful to its source material, so who knows?
Back Row Grade: C
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