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"Vatel"
(Reviewed February 16, 2001)
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Go see this one for its unbelievably gorgeous production design and beautiful costumes. As for the story...let's just say this is no "Barry Lyndon" or "Dangerous Liasions," although it clearly aspires to be both.
Gerard Depardieu may be regarded by the French as the best actor who ever drew breath, but he stumbles and mumbles through this movie in a way that sabotages the entire film. His character, Vatel, is the headstrong coordinator of all things festive for a bankrupt ex-general who hopes to impress the visiting King Lous XIV. If the King is sufficiently impressed by the various entertainments at the estate, it is hoped that he will bestow a new commission (and considerable treasury funds) upon the gout-ridden general.
The King's considerable entourage includes a large complement of schemers and scoundrels who engage in various forms of court intrigue. Vatel's heart is won by lady-in-waiting Uma Thurman, who also is desired by the King's right-hand man (Tim Roth) and by the King himself (who beds her for the first time during his stay at the general's estate). But Uma prefers Vatel.
For the plot of this movie to work, Depardieu would have to show a lot more charm and sex-appeal than comes through here. Also, to be frank, he should be about 30 years younger. It's ridiculous that the cliche of "grampaw getting lucky" -- that is, of sixty-ish men attracting women half their age -- is so prevalent in movies that it even appears in would-be "high-brow" movies such as this. It's not as if Depardieu is playing some vital, wealthy or powerful figure in this movie (in other words, he is not playing the kind of desirable man who could land a trophy babe like Uma). Although he supervises peasants, he basically is a peasant himself, one whom his master can put up for collateral in a card game. And yet we are supposed to believe that Uma would jump into bed with him. Gee, it sure would be nice to live in THAT universe (if you're a guy, that is).
Depardieu seems distracted and uninvolved throughout the film. Also, in a movie in which everyone speaks perfect English, his command of the language is less than impressive. At the risk of making what will sound like the lowbrow critical complaint of the century, his performance reminded me of Jackie Chan. You know, the way that Chan can try acting his little heart out, but every time he opens his mouth he quite obviously does not have a complete grasp of English? Same thing here with GD.
So, what you get here is a movie with a slight plot, a King Louis XIV who looks like a cleaned-up Howard Stern, a sexy Uma Thurman (but don't expect to get another look at those amazingly wonderful breasts she bared in "Dangerous Liasions," because she keeps them safely under wraps here), a shambling and mush-mouthed Gerard Depardieu, and some visuals and cinematography that will knock your eyes out. Hey, you could do worse.
Back Row Grade: C-
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