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Welcome to Collinwood
(Reviewed August 27, 2002, by James Dawson)
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Allow me to be the first of about a million movie reviewers who will use some variation of this line: "They should have called it `Ocean's Five-and-a-Half.'"
A bunch of colorful, bottom-of-the-rung losers in the world's crappiest neighborhood plan a heist. What are supposed to be hilarious complications ensue. George Clooney is the brains behind the operation--but anyone tempted to buy a ticket to ogle his rugged manliness should be warned that Clooney appears onscreen for a grand total of only about five minutes, in exactly three scenes.
What's incredibly frustrating about this flick is that the direction is so unimaginative, flat and plodding that it sucks every bit of life from what could have been (and should have been) a fast-paced slapstick comedy. I haven't seen the 1958 Italian "Big Deal on Madonna Street," on which "Welcome to Collinwood" is based, but the original had to have more "zip" than this lifeless lump.
The script probably looked pretty good in print, and in the hands of directors such as the Coen brothers this might have been a real winner. Instead, it's a genuine missed opportunity.
One more thing: I'm getting really, really tired of movies that start with a scene that appears deep within the movie (or, in this case, spoiler-close to the ending), then flash a card that says something akin to "Six weeks earlier," then pick up where they should have begun in the first place. The movie "Secretary" begins exactly the same way. But I digress.
Back Row Grade: D
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