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The Statement
(Reviewed December 6, 2003)
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Laughably, ineptly over-earnest "thriller" (ha!) about an ex-Nazi (Michael Caine) being hunted by the descendants of Jews he massacred in WWII. Or is it somebody else who is after him? That's what
investigators Jeremy Northam and Tilda Swinton have to find out, as they trail Caine from monastery to monastery in France. The Catholics, you see, are protecting Caine. They've even been paying him
a stipend for the past 50 years. Why? Hell, don't ask me, I've forgotten already. I think it's because Hollywood thinks Catholics make such great easy targets for hate speech. Especially French Catholics.
This is the kind of dopey movie where the bad guy kicks a dog and people talk to themselves. (When Caine feels chest pains while sitting in a car by himself, he actually speaks the words, "I'm
having a heart attack." It is to laugh.)
The only statement that matters about this movie is, "It sucks."
Back Row Grade: F
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