My Darling wife, the lovely and caring Sue

Said to me, "I know just what we should do!

We should have some kids and we should do it fast

The clock is ticking, time is really screaming past"

I went quite white, and "things" started to shrink.

So I beggared of to the pub for a long stiff drink.

One became two, then soon a lot more

and I staggered a bit as I fell back through the door.

Sue's mind was made up, my resistance was low,

Then nine months later we had little Stacey to show.

I was supposed to be there for the birth, a horrible thought,

But I did try the gas and air, well I thought that I ought.

The mother cries "Is our baby here? Is she pretty? Is she healthy? Thin or fat?

All I remember saying was that she looked a bit like our cat.

She soon got in the way with her poop and stomach garbage.

Plus her arrival put paid to our four percent mortgage.

The Mem Sahib then stayed at home, looking after the child,

I seemed excluded, and it made me quite wild.

Then Stacey lisped… "Daddy", and I forgave them, their sin.

I held her, kissed her, and my heart she entered in.

As she tottered, tripped or fell, nutted 'fridges and talked

I fell in love with our Stacey as she smiled, as she walked.

She was pretty and cute, and as bright as the sun,

My life she had enlarged, and, shown me it was fun.

Lovely little Lisa was soon around and about,

Giving Stacey someone to boss about, and clout.

They got on like a house on fire, we were ever so pleased

Even if they did take turns with the Asthma, they wheezed and they

wheezed.

Stacey was always the leader, her little eyes shining so bright

With Lisa in tow and always insisting her way was right.

Stacey loved, and loves, chocolate, sometimes purple, and pussy cats too.

She liked the Beatles, for Daddy, Jason Donovan, Aha, and Take That to

name a few.

Her first intelligible sentence, to her Granny, was ever so wrong!

She copied her mum, "Oh Balls" she said "the bus has gone".

She is playful and willful with an Ego so very strong.

I don't think,.. I can remember a time when she said she was wrong!

In cars she was trouble, she gave us some stick

I remember the time, down my neck she was sick.

We were on a Treasure Hunt and leading the race,

"Daddy I feel ill" and the muck covered my face.

She's been known to sulk on a boat sailing to Eire

She can be messy or cross, and re chocolate she's no sharer.

But she's usually happy, funny, kind and a great deal of fun.

And I miss holding her hand when we were just one to one.

At school she was usually up with the best

Never content to be just one of the rest.

She dressed in red for her prom and sailed to that Ball

In a "Roller" she cruised and was embarrassed by it all.

Then she was a cheerleader, dancing and shouting out OY's

I soon learnt the reason, it was huge hulking boys.

Dave appeared, a coppers son don't you know,

He was after my princess, that swine had to go.

Then I found out that he was at Uni, there with the best

A good job on the horizon, with money, prospects, the rest.

I warmed to the man, life had turned an attractive new page.

At last I had someone to live with in my, grumpy old age.

Stacey won't let me cuddle or kiss her now

I'm just her old Dad, it's not cool, silly cow.

We don't fight, well not often, I think I'm correct,

But I hate going into her room, which always looks wrecked.

Two daughters I have, they are the pride of my life

Excluding the cost, the terror, the fear and the strife.

With Stacey and Lisa the good time are good and that's not bunk.

I am glad that, at least twice in my life, I got roaring and amorously

drunk.

She's eighteen today and this party is costing me a lot

But she's welcome, someone get me a Jameson's, a shot!

She's off to University, if she gets the right marks.

The first of the Mullane's to get on with that lark.

I wish her great happiness, and a life full of ease.

I ask her not to be embarrassed, come on please.

I've usually not been there when wanted, it's true

I mostly find something a little better to do.

But my heart has been yours, right from the day one

You brought me love, joy great happiness and fun.

This is your party surrounded by family and friends

Enjoy the, legal, drinking and the dancing till it ends.

Just remember, even though it sometimes seemed to go wrong,

I have tried get through this life with a laugh, or a smile and a song

But should you ever need me, or your Mother and Lisa as well

All you have to do is open your costly corrected teeth, and just yell.

The end of this poem is near, I know, 'cos I done rit it myself,

You won't believe it but, to me, your more important than wealth.

It's soppy to say it and you'll squirm, just because you're you.

But Happy eighteenth Birthday Stacey, wait for it… I love you.

Steve Mullane