I've wanted to tell you this for a long, long time, and here it is, finally. Like you're going to ever find this, but here it is anyway, what I want to tell you. I know I'm going around in circles here...I'm sorry, I'm nervous.

I've watched you from across the room everyday, in class and have been and still am continually taken with the grace by which you simply exist. The way you hold your pen or turn the pages of your notebook or the way you put your big red backpack on your shoulder seemed to me like everyday miracles. Your easy kindnessess to me have made me think all the more highly of you. The way you'd smile at me with your eyes shining made my knees weak, and whenever you'd say my name like a question and we'd talk...that was a different story altogether. Maybe you're God's gift...to me, I hoped.

Compulsively, I wrote you a letter on Valentine's day which I never signed, and everyone teased you about it endlessly, singing you love songs in the halls, in the mess hall, even in the bathroom of your dorm. A secret admirer, they teased you all day and all night until you got upset enough to scream at all of them, which I know isn't you at all. I wrote back to say I'm sorry for all the trouble, and that I love you, making you wonder who I really am.

But you'll never know. You will never find out that it's me, the one who sits beside you everyday at class, unless I find the courage to tell you. Which I think I never will.