Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

CAMPGROUND RESERVATION

This story is about a rather strange reply for a campground reservation. It is said to be true, but you be the judge. A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate, and elegant- especially in her language- was planning a week's vacation in Florida so she wrote to a particular campground and asked for a reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but she didn't quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself to write the word "TOILET" in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old-fashioned term, "BATHROOM COMMODE." But when she wrote that down, she still felt to forward. So, she started to write all over again, rewrote the letter and referred to the bathroom commode merely as the B.C. "Does the campground have it's own B.C.?" is what she actually wrote.

Well, the campground owner wasn't old-fashioned at all and when he got the letter, he just couldn't figure out what the woman was talking about. That B.C. business really stumped him.

After worrying about it for a long time, he showed the letter to some campers, but they couldn't figure it out either. So the campground owner, finally coming to the conclusion that the lady must have been asking about the location of the local Baptist Church, sat down and wrote the following reply:

"Dear Madam: Regret very much in the delay in answering your letter. I now take the pleasure in informing you that a B.C. is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite distant away if you go regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that many people usually take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late."

"The last time my wife and I went was 6 years ago and it was so crowded that we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know right now, there is a supper being planned to raise mone to buy more seats. They're going to hold it in the basement of the B.C."

"I would like to say it pains me very much not to go more often but it is sure no lack of desire on my part. As we grow older, it seems to become more of an effort, especially in cold weather."

"If you do decide to come to our campground, perhaps I can go with you the first time yo go, sit with you, and introduce you to all of the other folks."

"Remember, this is a friendly community."

THE PROFESSOR

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive."

"In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

GAMBLING

A rabbi, a minister, and a priest were playing poker when the police raided the game. Turning to the priest, the lead police officer said, "Father Murphy, were you gambling?"

Turning his eyes to heaven, the priest whispered, "Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do." To the police officer, he then said, "No, officer; I was not gambling."

The officer then asked the minister, "Pastor Johnson, were you gambling?"

Again, after an appeal to heaven, the minister replied, "No, officer; I was not gambling."

Turning to the rabbi, the officer again asked, "Rabbi Goldstein, were you gambling?"

Shrugging his shoulders, the rabbi replied, "With whom?"

THE CONCLUSION OF THE MATTER!

A freshman in college started his first day of classes. His professor was clearly an atheist, and started the day by saying the following:

"Students, is there anyone here who can see God? If so, raise your hand.
If there is anyone here who can hear God, raise your hand.
If there is anyone who can smell God, raise your hand."

After a short pause, with no response from the students, he concluded," Since no one can see, smell or hear God, there is no God. "

A student then raised his hand and asked to address the class. The student approached the class and asked,

"Students, can anyone here see the professor's brain?
Can anyone here hear the professor's brain?
Can anyone here smell the professor's brain?"

After a short pause, he concluded, "Since no one can see, hear or smell the professor's brain, I conclude that he has no brain!

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