Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the mask I wear. For I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature to me, but don't be fooled. For God's sake don't be fooled. I give you the impression that I'm secure, that confidence is my name and coolness is my game, that the water's calm and I'm in command, and that I need no one. But don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing. Beneath lies no complacence. Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness. But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it. I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed. That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation. My only hope and I know it. That is, if it followed by acceptance, if it is followed by love. It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers I so painstakingly erect. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I'm really worth something.
I don't like to hide. I don't like to play superficial phony games. I want to stop playing them. I want to me genuine and spontaneous and me, but you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand even when it's the last thing I seem to want. Only you can wipe away from my eyes the bland stare of the breathing dead. Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings!
With your power to touch me into feeling you can breathe life into me. I want you to know that. Who am I, you may wonder. I am someone you know very well. For I am every man you meet, and I am every woman you meet.
huminahumina
I'm 16, going on 17...and in love. As so many of us are. What do you do when you love a guy (or girl) so much that they won't leave your head? You just can't seem to forget their face, no matter how hard you try. Face it, my friends, that's what being a teen is all about. Falling in love.
Do you ever get the feeling that you're going crazy because you love this person so much? Well I have, and it hurts. But then when you see their face, it feels like all your problems have gone away. Then, of course, when they leave, it's like your problems come right back.
Trust me, you're normal. All I can say is that you just have to stick through it and remember that, eventually, it will all end.
18_n
On Friday, October 27, District 12 of the OSSTF commenced a job action that left many people confused. The following is a notice from the OSSTF District 12 website (http://www.osstfdist12.com).
1. Since the schools will be open and students will be taught, why is this action being called a strike?
The terminology "strike" is being used to comply with the Ontario Labour Relations Act. This is not a strike that involves a full withdrawal of services. This is a selective strike of duties that are assigned to teachers.
2. What services will teachers provide during the strike?
During the strike, teachers will only teach their time-tabled 6.5 credits and the TAP (Teacher Advisor Program). Some teachers may provide extra-curricular activities (see #6 below). Teachers will strike all other duties, such as: on-call teaching (filling in for absent colleagues), department meetings, board committee meetings, subject council meetings, staff meetings, curriculum writing, hall duties, cafeteria supervision, and any other duty that the principal may assign.
3. Will this strike action jeopardize the granting of credits to students?
No. Teachers will teach all of their time-tabled classes. In fact, since teachers will not be doing a myriad of other non-teaching duties, they will be able to devote all of their energies to teaching their time-tabled classes.
4. Will teachers organize field trips during the strike?
There will be no field trips during the strike. Planning for a field trip invariably involves a lot of time devoted to paperwork and administrative details. This strike is designed to free teachers from the burden of paper work. It will let teachers teach.
5. Will teachers attend commencement during the strike?
OSSTF has always taken the position that attendance at commencement is a voluntary activity for teachers. Teachers will make their own individual choices about whether they attend commencement.
6. Will this strike action affect extra-curricular activities?
OSSTF has always maintained that extra-curricular activities are voluntary. Extra-curricular programs will be provided during the strike, on a volunteer basis subject to a set of rules (posted on the District 12 web site) and provided that individual teachers perceive they have sufficient time to provide such activities.
7. How could this strike have a negative impact on students and parents?
This strike will only have a negative impact on students and parents, if the Toronto District School Board responds to it with a "lock out," thereby preventing the teachers from teaching their time-tabled classes.
The following quote, paraphrased from the original by Henri Matisse, is one of the best things I've ever read on creativity vs. talent:
"Creation is the artist's true function. But it would be a mistake to ascribe creative power to an inborn talent. Creation begins with vision. The artist has to look at everything as though seeing it for the first time, like a child.
To create is to express what we have within ourselves. We take from our surroundings everything that can nourish our internal vision. We enrich ourselves internally with all the forms we have mastered, which we set to a new rhythm. It is in the expression of this rhythm that the artist's work becomes really creative.
Great love is needed to achieve this, a love capable of inspiring and sustaining that patient striving towards truth, that glowing warmth and that analytic profundity that accompany the birth of any work of art.
But is not love the origin of all creation?"
Henri Matisse
I would like to address this to everyone at Mac. It is about time we start taking things into our own hands. People say they want a yearbook and other things like that, so why don’t you start it up yourself or talk to the office about it. If we all just sit here on our hands, we will never get what we want -- to stand up and be counted. No matter what grade you are in, speak up and be counted for the cause. If we the students don’t do something about it, no one else will. So take that under consideration next time you start to complain that we have nothing to do at our school this year. Speak up or stop complaining.
Let The People Speak
My_View
(eds. Note: You can also write for MacNews! Email your submissions to macnews@iname.com!) Back to top.
So, you're going away to university, are you? Many moons ago, I was in the very same position that you are in now. I too was bright-eyed, bushy tailed, and scared to death. I know the questions that you are (or will soon be) asking yourself: Will I ever be able to find my way around campus? Will I like my new city? What if I don't make any friends? And who was the sadist that decided that a single textbook should cost the equivalent of one of my summer paycheques?
Take a deep breath, kiddo. It'll be okay.
In order to help you out, much-older-and-somewhat-wiser me has compiled a list of 25 things (in no particular order) that I wish I had been told whilst still in my final year of high school (Hey minor niners! Take heed of this article, too. Four years go by surprisingly fast). I hope that you can benefit from my trialing, erroring and various discoveries.
Sofi Papamarko
(MacNews editor 1995-1998)
Queen's University (AKA Utopia)
English/Drama BA '03
On Friday, October 20, I skipped school. I was, in fact, on my way to Boston, to attend the family weekend at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT). I thought I would write about my experiences for those of you who might be looking at American universities.
MIT is located in Cambridge, Massachusetts. A suburb of Boston, Cambridge is also the place where Harvard University is located. Both of the universities are situated on the Charles River.
If you have heard one thing about MIT, it's probably that the campus is ugly. It is full of dull, concrete buildings, and looks like a factory district or a dump. To be honest, I can't say that the campus looks great. However, in MIT's defense, not all of the buildings are that bad. The auditorium is one of the most interesting buildings. The roof is actually shaped like an eighth of a sphere, and the glass walls are curved, so that from above, it looks like a pregnant triangle. The chapel is also an example of interesting architecture. It uses a moat to reflect sunlight onto the ceiling inside, creating a shimmering effect. There is also a place where the benches, shaped into a semicircle, can reflect your voice back at you if you stand at the exact centre of the circle.
The roads at MIT are not too busy. There is only one main street, Massachusetts Ave., which runs through the middle of the campus (the short way). Compared to the University of Toronto's St. George campus, MIT does not deserve the reputation of being terribly ugly.
The athletic facilities at MIT are not what you would expect of one of the best universities in the States. Their football stadium is, to be blunt, a pathetic set of bleachers beside a big green field. Their volleyball courts are housed inside a cramped building which used to be an airplane hanger. Their pool is halfway across the campus from the other facilities, and is over half a century old. However, a new athletics complex is in the works, and this new building will have much more space for a bigger pool and more weight training equipment. The outdoor track is also being resurfaced this year. One complaint I had was the team name. MIT Engineers. How lame can you get? Aren't sports supposed to give you a break from the rest of the curriculum?
Except for the food, everything else at MIT seemed to be great. The faculty is very experienced, with several Nobel laureates in their ranks. The atmosphere seems to be quite spirited, and there is much emphasis on helping to relieve the stress of the freshman year. A decision regarding what field to major in can be pushed back, because the first year is basically common.
If you plan to apply to the States this year, now is the time to get started. It takes much longer than you would expect for them to send you an application, and there is a lot more work involved. Also, though our guidance department is a good place to start, they usually do not deal with American applications. They know some answers, but don't expect them to be experts. You will need some time to research elsewhere.
Going to the States for university is expensive. Many of the universities there, especially the Ivy League universities, also do not give merit-based scholarships. However, depending on what field you want to get into, it may be worth it to take a look south. The last thing you want to do is to miss out on a great programme just because you didn't look outside of Canada. Good luck to all of you graduates!
Nony LaSouris
We at MacNews would like to extend a warm welcome to the class of 2000. We certainly hope that you enjoy your commencement ceremony. Congratulations on your many achievements, and good luck in university!
And to those of you who are still in high school, we need your help! MacNews is experiencing a shortage in content! If you have any articles, poems, drawings, or anything else you think should be in this paper, send it to macnews@iname.com, or give it to one of the editors: Heather Cunningham, Paul Gvildys, or Nicolas Lee.
Heather, Paul, and Nicolas, eds.
Radiohead's highly anticipated CD release, 'Kid A' was released only a few short weeks ago. Having purchased this exquisite piece of music myself, I am sure that I would be a fine critic, to say the least. Almost as I had predicted, it is a disc to play before and during your time of slumber. It could soon become a familiar disc to your CD player. So, here is my unbiased review of the album.
Without doubt, it is chock full of delicious bohemian guitar melodies that string you along, techno-inspired pandemonium, and the broken record linger of Thom's heartbreaking voice. The continuous flow wraps the whole entity up with a tasteful bow. Be sure to listen for the tracks, 'The National Anthem' and 'Idioteque' that they splendidly regurgitated on 'Saturday Night Live'.
Yes, well maybe my review was more of a plug, but if you haven't already heard of Radiohead, or purchased the CD, I hope that I have inspired you to do so. Out of a possible 5, I give this CD a 4.89.
Surly