I don't see the big deal!!! Everyone is talking about those two mysterious girls that happen to be the two first girls EVER to join the guys Rugby team. I, myself happen to be one of the aforementioned girls.
Everywhere I go, all I hear are people wasting their obviously not-so-precious time fighting over whether it's something to be proud of, or something to be ashamed of. Your decision. GOOD or bad , it does not bother me one bit. The fact that everyone seems to make this their own business does. What does it matter? Has my life or my interest in Rugby ever made the slightest difference before? I think not.
I have also happened to hear that a lot of people on the team also don't approve of my existence. They seem to think that all I had to do was snap my fingers to get on the team. I'll have you know that I had to work my butt off!!! Guys are used to the run around the "area". Most of the time, we girls just walk the track.
Getting used to such a change as once around the track to a run around the neighbourhood isn't easy. While I'm on the topic, I have been smoking for 3 years and change, and I gave it up for a chance at playing Rugby! In conclusion, if anything, we've worked harder than anyone else on that team, and we get less glory.
Punky
On April 22nd, I, along with many other people in the world, will be turning off their televisions. We won't be turning them back on until the 29th of April. Sounds crazy, huh? Well it just may be. This T.V. turnoff week is a venture of Adbusters Quarterly magazine based on the west coast. Adbusters has been credited with previous T.V. turnoff weeks and "Buy Nothing Days". I plan to prove that if I, who watches at least six hours of T.V. a nigh, can do it, you can. Imagine: no reruns of cheesy shows you've seen a million times before, no laughtracks and especially no more Bob Sagat. I admit that I'll be taping South Park and The Simpsons but that's it. If I get tempted to watch T.B., I'll just lick the layer of dust off my T.V. screen and take solace in the fact that I won't lose anymore brain cells for a little while. I will keep a log of my thoughts and sum up how it went, next Friday. Hey, it's not like I'll have anything else to do. Well, I hope that all of you have a good time watching the evil box of stupidity and to make it in words you understand, T.V. is bad. No T.V. for many moons is good. Yeah.
Hecubis
You are getting sleepy. Your eyes are getting heavy. You are asleep. As you might know, those are phrases usually spoken by a hypnotist.
This week, we were visited by Blair Robertson, master hypnotist and psychic. He was even able to read our own editor's mind! Unfortunately though, Sofi discovered that she cannot be hypnotised (there goes my plan to take over MacNews).
Surprisingly, I thought he was hypnotising me when he was sending the people on stage into the suggestive state. Blair was talking about heavy legs and I couldn't lift my feet, but I discovered that my feet were stuck to the ground because of some gum.
This show was hilarious! Even though it contained much profanity, hand signals, and dead birds, it was okay.
Smutton
Awakened,
By the sudden sound of fear.
Frightened,
By the presence that had been inside my soul.
Calmed,
By the force that was within me.
I quickly realise I am alone.
That I have not been joined by death,
Not by ghouls nor goblins.
Instead,
I realise I had lost something.
I had lost something valuable,
I had lost my innocence,
I had lost my consience,
I had lost what was dear to me.
After searching though my empty soul,
I found what I was looking for with difficulty.
But what I found was useless
For at this day and time,
It was obsolete.
Dust of Gold
You guys didn't actually think that hypnotist was real, did you? Yesterday, in math class, a classmate of mine was insisting that he had to be legit! Whether he was for real or an excellent entertainer will remain a mystery for some time, but what's not a mystery is the fact that Mr. Ambrose won't be having another hypnotist here for some time!
Wednesday, after school, while my buddies and I were rehearsing for today's assembly, Mr. Ambrose walked on stage to where Blair Robertson was packing his suitcase full of goodies. From what I could decipher through all the background noise, Mr. Ambrose was scolding Mr. Robertson for causing a student to faint!
Now I wasn't a member of the audience when Mr. Robertson performed but apparently being hypnotized is supposed to be funny. Since I'm taking Society this year, I know for a fact that it's not. It's not a form of entertainment, it shouldn't be funny, and it's not supposed to be viewed by hundreds of people. It's a delicate process whereby subconscious thoughts are evoked to the surface and it requires a great amount of concentration and dedication! Poor Freud! He must be rolling over in his grave!
Actually, he must be a great hypnotist if he got all of you believing in him . . .
(:CHEEKY:)
If you don't know, our wonderful, brilliant, talented, perfect editor, the almighty Sofi ed. will be leaving her position as editor of this wonderful publication next year. Guess who wants to take her place? Me! So if you want to see a "Stoopider" (don't mind that I can't spell) MacNews next year, pester whoever is in charge of the editor selection until they give in and let me take her spot.
I gotta go!
(Editor hopeful) Stoopid Head
I know that many of you reader-type-people out there are getting kinda sick of my completely pointless and often useless articles so I have decided to write one with some sort of a point, so here goes!
Recently I've hear a lot of discussion of violence in television and in the movies. It has been blamed for so many things recently that it's just about making me sick. I mean if someone is stupid enough that they believe that if someone kills someone else on television it's perfectly fine to do the same, then they are so severly messed up that they are beyond help.
I heard that the parents of a child who recently killed someone were actually blaming the kid's violence on South Park! Now this isn't a direct quote, but the parents said something along the lines of: the reason my child shot another child is because he believes that when a cartoon character is killed and they are alive again the next week, the same thing is true for human beings.
So what they are saying is that the child doesn't know the difference between a cartoon character and their friend Billy who lives down the street. This is of course T.V.'s fault, right?
No, this problem is not the shows fault, television's fault, or the child's fault. The blame should fall directly on the parents! Why? It's simple.
If the parents are ignorant and lazy enough that they don't want to spend the time or the energy to tell their little kid that tere is a difference between Kenny from the show and their friends from school, then it is no wonder that the kid doesn't know the difference! Finally, I'm sick of people (parents especially) who are always quick to blame South Park and Howard Stern for their children's problems, but refuse to look in the mirror and see that they are the real cause.
Think about it.
See ya!
(Today I'm not so) Stoopid Head
Now that it's spring, here are 19 easy ways to tell it's raining too much:
Girlfriend in a Coma
by Douglas Coupland
Harper Collins
1998
The thing I love most about Vancouver's own Dougie Coupland is the masterful way he combines references to popular culture with surprisingly meaningful philosophies. His novels have always been perfect marriages of depth and superficiality. His latest offering, Girlfriend in a Coma is a bit of an exception because in comparison to some of his other works (Microserfs, Life After God, etc.) it falls slightly below expectations.
It isn't until two-thirds of the way through the book that Coupland starts being philosophical, but it seems kind of tacked on.
Not that the book isn't entertaining; on the contrary. It's reminiscent of a soap opera plotline (except, of course, you're not waiting six months for something good and juicy to occur). Some of the soapily operatic plot twists include a 17-year-old girl going into an 18-year-long coma after consuming vodka and valium, the same girl giving birth to a daughter while comatose, another girl getting it on with the ghost of her high school crush, etc. Another important plotline, however, involves the coming of the Apocalypse. Not exactly Y & R material.
Girlfriend sends a lot of important questions our way, like:
Sofi, ed.