The editor of MacNews made me use this title instead of more interesting ones, so it's not my fault if no one reads this article.
This year, the Christmas concert wasn't much different from other years. I tripped over a wire while going on stage, messed up half the songs, and faked the rest. The principals made their usual speech, as did Mr. Cunningham and the music council people. A guest conductor came on and conducted a song. Everyone seemed to enjoy the performances, just as usual. WHY CAN'T ANYTHING DIFFERENT HAPPEN?!?!?!?!
I think it would be nice if Mrs. Tipoff really threw her baton, the way she repeatedly does during practice. An additional bonus could be that the baton hits the... person... next to me.
Another interesting thing that should happen is a yeti or two performing with the bands. They would make a really good contribution to the concert.
I've never seen spontaneous implosion occur, either. This would be very spectacular. Well, it may be going a bit too far.
Nony LaSouris
I really think that after returning from the Christmas holidays, the teachers are all out of any type of spirit. Everyone seems so tired and wanting to just work, work, work. Too much work can be hazardous to our health. We need to be eased back into the swing of things. It's too hectic to just throw piles of work at us, right after we have just spent the last two weeks watching TV and eating turkey. I'm not saying all teachers are working us like there's no tomorrow, but some teachers need to just take it easy. Maybe it's all that turkey and champagne that's giving the teachers these teaching cramps, but in my opinion, they're just not the same. So to all those teachers out there that feel that after the holidays you have to work us like a bunch of robots, I say give us a break... A little advice, you should start giving us the mounds of work, at around, uh... mid-March.
Sean Huynh
One year ago, on January 7,1997, a freak sat at his computer, connected to the internet, and signed up for a web site with two megabytes at Geocities, a company which offers free web sites to individuals and non-profit organizations. This site was located at Athens/Acropolis 1805. Three days later, the first issue of MacNews that was put on the internet appeared. People booed and hissed at its format, even saying that its attempts to be professional were a joke and pathetic.
This web site evolved to become MacNews Online, the place where people all over the world can read about Macdonald. It has been advertised on numerous sites, and has accumulated many visitors. It has been accepted as a GeoCities Featured Page, which include the best of GeoCities' pages.
For the next year, we plan many improvements, and will continue to post MacNews issues on the internet. Hopefully, we will get more publicity, and have MacNews Online better than ever.
The Webmasters
Something happened over the Christmas Holidays that truly shocked me. Kenny didn't die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, if you don't know what I'm talking about, you should! I'm talking about the greatest television show on earth, South Park.
Now, back to my point. On the South Park Christmas Special (yes, they did have a Christmas Special) Kenny was in mortal danger many times but he survived! If you don't watch the show (you should be) you don't understand the signifigance of this catastrophic event. You see, Kenny dies every episode! This terrible act of sparing the life of an innocent eight-year-old boy has been ruling my life ever since it aired two weeks ago! I keep killing Kenny over and over again in my mind in order to achieve inner peace. (Yes, I am incredibly disturbed.)
Well anyways, South Park is on tonight so run home right now and get ready. It starts at midnight. You don't have much time!
Goodbye.
(Incredibly) Stoopid Head
This past week-end, there had been a great fuss in Toronto over the arrival of the Backstreet Boys. The Backstreet Boys aka... New Kids On The Block, were in town to do 2 live performances, Saturday at the SkyDome and on Sunday at Much Music. The arrival of the Backstreet Boys was anticipated by ALL girls, and the odd guy. (Who will be named anonymous for the time being.) I think that I speak for all the guys in the world when I say, Who cares!
I have heard from around the school that many girls had went to the concert on Saturday. But I have not heard of one person sitting any lower than the 500's. (For those people who do not know, that's the highest level in the SkyDome, also referred to as the" nose bleed seats".) What's the big deal with this all? "WOW, let's all go spend a large amount of money, to go to the SkyDome, so we can sit up in the nose bleed section, and maybe if we squint ours eyes, get a glimpse of the Backstreet Boys" , But the "Backstreet fever" didn't hit ALL the girls of Toronto, I've heard some were actually smart enough to bring binoculars.
Nonetheless, "Backstreet's Back" the next day, to perform at Much Music. And boy, did they? They performed to a bunch of crazy lunatics, (Yes, I'm talking about all you girls.) which some had been reported to have been waiting outside for 7 hours in the freezing Canadian weather, so they could get a closer look at the Backstreet Boys. Tell me you're not an idiot if you did that? (You can't!) For all you people that were at Much Music on Sunday to see the Backstreet Boys live, I have something to tell you. I had a better view of the Boys, in the comfort of my heated house than all of you did. And I also heard all the songs, not ALL the girls.
Finally, "What makes the Backstreet Boys any different than I?" They so called have the looks. I HAVE the looks. They're said to have the way with the women. I HAVE the way. They're good singers. I AM the best singer. They're so called men. I AM THE MAN! The only thing that makes me any different from ALL the Backstreet Boys is the money, and also what separates me from some of the "boys" is that I've gone through puberty.
In conclusion, in reality I could be the sixth Backstreet Boy. AJ, Brian, Kevin, Howie D, Nick, and Merlin, but I would never stoop so low in my life. I would never be a fake.
Merlin
Welcome back to school!! I hope everyone had a lovely holiday, and I'm sure everyone watched "A Very Brady Christmas", right? It was only on about 30 times over the holiday...even after Christmas. Oh, well. What would Christmas be like without the Brady's?? I'm not quite sure.
Some big things happened over the break...In the South Park Christmas episode, Kenny didn't die!! How bizarre. Jerry Springer moved back to lOpm...the Raptors kept losing, and the Leafs, well, they're getting better. Mike Johnson, a Mac grad, was the NHL Rookie of the Month for December. Titanic finally came out...and sank. Is anyone else out there sick of the Spice Girls?? They have a new movie coming out. No comment. Posh Spice is engaged now to some soccer player. But who really cares??? Not me! Sorry, Steve...I know you love them. Oh, and by the way, they didn't get nominated for a Grammy!! Ha, ha! The Crapstreet Backstreet Boys came to Toronto and made girls go crazy...I know some guys who have that affect on the ladies...they lift up their shirts, and the girls faint, or spew...whichever comes first.
Anyways, enough about that. The holidays are a time that we come together with our families and fight...am I right? Right.
Let's see...what did I do, you ask? I saw RENT, and loved it. Go see it. Until next week!
The Critic
Dear Smutton
Seeing how small your name is written, you can imagine how minor we think of you. However, you are very significant. This letter would not exist without you.
Anti-Smutton Society
P.S. You're boring & dumb!
Dear Smutton,
I regret informing you that many people do not like reading your extremely boring articles. I must admit that they are very informative, so informative sometimes that I have caught myself falling asleep while reading your articles. I can guess that you are not a very interesting or "fun" person. Do you have any friends? Perhaps they can offer you some advice on how to be a more entertaining person. That's what friends are for (if you have any). I bet you lost them all because you're such a dull person, but don't feel bad! There's always hope for a brighter tomorrow! Well anyways, better luck on your future articles.
Your friend (if that makes you feel better),
Steve
Dear MacNews,
I am a great fan of yours and enjoy reading all the articles. However, as a faithful reader, I must point out to you that that comic strip found in MacNews every so often is hideous. I can barely stand the plot (if there is one) but I cannot, under any circumstances, stand those awful drawings. Tell whoever draws it that if he/she can't draw, then don't. If he/she can't come up with what the dark shadow is, then he/she shouldn't have started a comic strip at all (maybe he/she should ask readers for suggestions on what the shadow should be). I'm tired of him/her stalling and wasting space in MacNews every week just because he/she can't come up with a whole story before he/she started the comic.
Yours very truly,
A fan of MacNews who may not be a fan for long...
This is the start of the article replying to the letters. I have several things to say.
To the Anti-Smutton Society: I think what you're doing is great! You think I'm boring and dumb... you have reached deep inside my articles and found what the basis of some of them are. I think anyone who wishes to join this society should write in to MacNews and request a membership. I know the leader of the society who approached me with that first letter. You people have way too much time on your hands. The society sent me five letters this week. I recommend limiting your number of letters to two a week. Think of the trees that will live.
To Steve: You have uncovered another one of my many nuances... I try and let those people who haven't becn getting much sleep get their wish. By reading some of my articles, people fall asleep and thus are rested and refreshed for the rest of the day. Informative? Where did that come from? Anyone who has read my articles (except that report on the Wind Ensemble) knows that most of my articles don't relate to anything that you could call informative. I would like to know what you don't think is informative and thank you for being my friend!
To A fan of MacNews who may not be a fan for long: First, thank you for reading MacNews. Secondly, I know I can't draw. I started the strip because nobody that comes in to MacNews after school on Thursdays volunteered to draw one and we wished to publish one in an attempt to make MacNews a more visual magazine. (It's a newspaper, goshdernit!!! -Sofi, ed.) Now if you think the drawing is basic, you are correct. I started drawing Big Eye Guy in grade five, when even then people said I could draw. (I thought you couldn't draw! -N. Lee, temp. ed.) Of course I agreed with them. You don't think there's a plot? Of course there's a plot. But if I get an idea, I might draw about that before I forget. This strip does not have a terminating story. It will continue until I'm tired of drawing it. Big Eye Guy is actually not taking up space. It usually is used as a filler; (In layman's terms...when we don't have enough, we stick it in! -Sofi) that's why it has said to be postponed in many different issues. I do have an idea of who the shadowy figure is, but at your request I will allow the public to choose the shadowy figure.
As you can see, people really don't like me. But many of them think I'll stop writing when sending this mail. I'm still going to write, but I'll take into account your letters. Unfortunately (for you), I will continue to write the articles as I please. So Phhhbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbttt!!!! (for those of you who don't know, that sound represents me sticking my tongue out to those of you who dislike me).
Oh, yeah, by sending me those letters, look at how much space I've taken up! HA HA HA HA! (That's just because I'm being nice today! -Layout Guy)
Smutton
Hello Nony LaSouris
Perhaps you haven't noticed, but we hardly read your articles. So, as you era {are} not a Smutton, we have decided that you are very annoying, stupid, and nosey.
However, you're still much better than Smutton.
Anti-Smutton Society
P.S. Please solve the puzzle we've given you. There are three pictures.
Hello Anti-Smutton Society,
Thank you for this wonderful letter! I very rarely get mail and I am glad that you have found the time to write to me. Don't you have to do homework? I also agree with the points you made in your letter. I am sorry that no rehabilitation techniques have worked on me so far. The puzzles you have sent me are interesting. I will try to print them on MacNews when I have them completed. Thanks again for the mail!
Yours in AP (Anti-percussionism),
Nony LaSouris
Due to the Christmas holidays, we did not print an issue on the last week of school in 1997. We regret if this caused any inconvenience to anybody (eg. if you were bored or if your article was glued into the MacNews issue that SHOULD have come out, but didn't (through little or no fault of our own...)!!!) Anywho, this is basically to Shortie: YES, your horoscopes DID get in; unfortunately, nobody will see them. Oh well, there's always NEXT Christmas issue!
Sofi, ed.