Last week, Sofi announced that there has been no editor decided for next year's MacNews. What an outrage!!!!! After all that sucking up... er, ahh, dedicated hard work, no one was chosen!!!
Since no one is editor this week (Sofi left early... she abandonned us), Smutton has taken over as temp. ed.. The reason he has done this is simple. He thinks he has the most talent for the job (Plus, after 4 PM, he was one of the only ones left to publish MacNews.
The OneArmed Men
Red yeties and green raindeers trampled over piles of duct tape. They tripped and got stuck in the Yukon. From there, they went to Austrailia to talk to LW. The fromagy raindeers and the blazey yeties, however, were sent back to a locker. Actually, only the raindeer were sent back.
Nony LaSouris
On Saturday, June 6, 1998, the grade 10 Medallion English class is holding a car wash at Mac. The car wash is to raise money for cancer research. It will be held in the circular driveway at 1 p.m.. Anyone who wants to have a cleaner car can just drive up and pay by donation. Please tell your parents if you don't drive, or if you do, come down yourself!
Nony LaSouris
I want to be editor? They don't want me to be. I may result to a hostile takeover next year if I'm not the editor! If you want me to become editor flood MacNews with mail and e-mail.
See ya!
(Not gonna be editor, but I can dream. Plus, I'm trying to take over this issue) Stoopid Head
Wasn't yesterday's South Park great? It was this season's premier. It was incredibly funny! I thought it was really good, regardless of what anybody else says. South Park is the greatest show ever created and I love it!
Oh here's a hint about tonight's episode, Kenny gets killed.
(Have a good summer) Stoopid Head, temp. ed
Hi. It's me, Stoopid Head! I don't have any mail this week because NOBODY E-MAIL'S ME! E-mail me, come on! PLEASE! Thank you in advance. E-mail: stoopid_head@hotmail.com
(wanting e-mail) Stoopid Head, temp. ed.
So, the school year of 1997/98 is finally coming to an end. WOO HOO! School's almost over, school's almost over! YEAH! N-E-Wayze, now, it's time for me to look back on the 1997/98 school year.
First of all, in entertainment, the Backstreet Boys came to our lovely city in January and made thousands of girls cry. Now, I'm not sure if it was from the cold or the thought that maybe, just maybe one of the Backstreet Boys may have breathed the same air that you did. Wow! (That was meant to be sarcastic.) Also, the female equivalent to the BSBs, the Spice Girls, had an up and down year as they made a movie but then lost a member, as Ginger Spice (Geri Haliwell) left the group to move on to bigger and better things. Could a solo career be in the works? Hmm...
This year the world's greatest TV show, South Park debuted on Global television and it quickly soared up the ratings. Also, radio shock-jock Howard Stern signed on in Toronto with Q107 and the CRTC was immediately on his back, but Q107's ratings went flying up as well. Funny how sick humour builds an audience, eh!
Sadly, many people who were near and dear to all of us passed away this year. Some of them were: Princess Diana, Mother Teresa, Brian Pillman, Linda McCartney, Michael Hutchance, Chris Farley, and most recently, Phil Hartman. Forgive me if I forgot anyone. Everyone who lost his or her life this year deserves to be mentioned.
Here at Mac, Mac Spirit ran wild all year, from the pep rallies to spirit week, this year was filled with energy!
At MacNews, the formerly almighty Sofi, ed. resigned as editor and was replaced by... no one. However, most importantly, a new writer began writing for MacNews this year as yours truly, Stoopid Head, began to write for this wonderful paper!
That's all for now, have a fun, safe summer and come back next year to read more of my wonderful articles. Good luck grads!
(Year-ending) Stoopid Head
Leo
Your summer will be moderately good. Last summer was better, but take what you can get, at least you're out of school. You will meet quite a few love interests, but as usual, nothing serious. The opportunity of a job will present itself, don't pass it up.
Libra
If you are in a very stable relationship then have no worries it will last through the summer. If you are not, you'll be single for the next two monthes, enjoy it. You'll be very busy this summer, so try to take time for your friends.
Virgo
If you're expecting your summer to suck, think again. A friend of yours will not allow you to sit on you a$$ all summer. wear sunscreen.
Scorpio
A friend of yours will literally disapear this summer, but this won't set you back, just go with them. You've been lonely for a while, but this is your summer, someone you meet this summer will become very close to you.
Sagittarius
I see a roadtrip in your future. I just hope its with your friends and not your parents. Friends are going to be much needed over the summer, so keep them close.
Capricorn
You B-TCH! You better become just a little less bitter for the summer or you will continue to be unhappy. Love is soon approaching, I mean it. Someone will be coming into your life which will change you forever.
Aquirius
An angel is going to enter your life. Treat them right, or you'll regret it. A summer job will literally suck all the life out of you. Try to get some time off to chill.
Pisces
The summer offers nothing to you, just get out and enjoy the weather.
Aries
This summer will change your life if it is a good or bad thing is up to you. You are not ready for any relationships, so stay away from them.
Taurus
No job, no life, no love, no money but lots of heat. Have a wonderful summer.
Gemini
You rule cause I rule, and I am a Gemini. You will have a great summer, meet lots of new people and basically have a great time.
Cancer
Temper, temper! Relax, school is almost over, five days left (or less). And if you're going to summer school, I feel very sorry for you.
Shortie
-The show-stopper
-the master
-the queen
-the woman of 1004 moves
-the ultimate
So MAC HOCKEY... you want priority? You got it! Today, MacNews received an article from an anonymous (what are you afraid of?) member of the MAC HOCKEY team (notice the capitals) complaining about the yearbook. The list of complaints included: not enough recognition for the "2nd most popular sport" (hockey, in case people didn't realize), and not enough recognition for basketball/volleyball. Well, here's an explanation. Firstly, your picture was taken late (through no fault of the yearbook photographers), which meant that you unfortunately got stuck on our "Oh-crap-it's-8:30p.m.-and-our-deadline-was-five-hours-ago!!!!!-page." Sorry, but life's not always fair. Also, not every page can be in colour. Well, it could if all the students were willing to pay $100 per yearbook. And did we even have enough pix to fill up an entire page of MAC HOCKEY? I didn't think so. By the way, would Mr. Hockey like to participate in making the yearbook? You know the old saying, if you want something done right, do it yourself. Thanks for the comments though, they were much appreciated.
As for the basketball/volleyball picture, well on behalf of the entire yearbook staff, we're incredibly sorry. It was a company error, however. We had made the correction on the proof, but they apparently missed it. There is a little something called human error, guys. Sorry you were the victims.
Moving along... we're SOOOO sorry that Mr. Chow's picture didn't get in this year, especially since it's his last year. We had no choice, though. Sony did not provide a picture of him, even though it has been confirmed that he did have a picture taken.
As for the Improv CLub, we cannot disclose why you were left out. All we can say is look within for the answers. And no, we have nothing against you.
Now, as for the cover... I guess we need a whole issue of MacNews about this one, right? We're not providing an explanation here, since art is open to interpretation. We will say one thing, though. The rumour that has been started about the two missing eggs (We're not going to repeat is, but if you've heard it... listen up!) is COMPLETELY FALSE! That is a cruel, malicious thing to say. By the way two wouldn't be the right number anyway (one angel was missing from the book for the sake of respecting an individual's personal wishes).
As for people that like the yearbook cover... great! Glad to hear it. For those that despise it... well, I guess you'll be submitting multiple entries for next year's cover, won't you? Can't hardly wait to see them.
This semi-final note is to those who didn't get in the yearbook or their names were mispelled: we worked our a$$es off to get 1500 students right, so sorry if human error (look, there it is again!) caused one or two to be wrong.
And finally, to those who complained about how late the yearbook came out this year: go see Richard Windross, and I'm sure he'll be happy to provide an explanation. By the way, tell him we said, "HI!" (He probably won't tell the truth, but what the hey! We tried.)
"As the arts advance towards their perfection, the science of criticism advances with equal pace." -Edmund Burke
"They damn what they don't understand." -Quintilian
HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!!!
Yearbook eds.
Pondering;
In the midst of my writing blues
I paused, suddenly realizing that
"Hey, this is my last article: I AM THE NEWS!"
While my portfolio is packed
With papers exploding at its every rim
There's so much to remember
Of memories good and grim
Let's say that it was no piece of cake
Slaving away every Thursday night
With one eye on my pen and one eye on the clock
Trying to make each article sound right
I've also had my share of various arrows and spears
Being of the target of my many controversial articles
Some of them serious, some of them just plain weird
It's been 3 1/2 years
Since my first journalistic excursion
From remembering Abby and Alvis' "Brief Candle"
To ranting about "J.B. Dickson"
Despite the monotony
Of writing about every event
There are some articles
Whose inspiration were godsent, such as...
Ellen, "Mr. Macdonald"
Hilary Weston and the TV crew
Preston Manning, Sarcasium
And Rick Mercer, to name but a few
So while I'm almost running out of space
And time is flying off the clock
There are many I'd like to thank
Starting with the MacNews bedrock
Many thanks goes to Mr. Hughes,
Mr. Forsythe, and to Sofi Ed.
Not to mention Green Eggs and Ham and Smutton
Who would rather watch South Park than go to bed!
My thanks also goes out to all my English teachers
Who have taught me writing techniques old and new
With their academic guidance
To help me express my point of view
Finally, before I get trashed at the Formal
There are others that I'd like to thank
Whose numerous ideas have inspired me
Regardless of their rank
If it weren't for the daily news
And their many intriguing stories
Sarcasium, within MacNews,
Would have never achieved the summit of journalistic glory!
Finally, I have to thank all the readers
Who manage to repeat the simple act
Of reading every issue of MacNews
And giving me the self-satisfaction that this profession sometimes lacks!
So while I must go
And bid MAC farewell
I will always remember the past five years here
Where my journalistic career had dwelled
Adieu MacNews
And to everyone of you
It's been great to revel in the MAC Spirit
But I have the CBC and The Canadian Press to look forward to
Perhaps, one day, you will see my face
Flashing on your TV set
Or read me in the papers
Until then:
Kathy Tam
(a.k.a. SARCASIUM)
Summer is upon us and I believe that we should go out and celebrate. Some of you who are reading this were at the formal last night and probably don't even know what you are reading right now, but bear with me.
I think we've all enjoyed the school year, and how it was followed in MacNews. There was the hippy-guy hanging out in front of the school. The school (possibly) received a bomb threat. Friends were made, and the caf continued to use wooden forks. Stoopid Head rose to popularity and became one of MacNews' all time favourite writers (much to the dismay of Stoopid Head himself). However, I'll never forget the fun times we had here at MacNews. Unexpected pizza parties. Annoying the Beejeejuices out of each other (okay, that was just Nony and myself).
It will be sad without MacNews for a whole summer... wait, it's summertime, what am I saying?
Have a safe summer from,
Smutton, temp. ed.