Hello, MacNews readers! Due to unfortunate weather conditions, school was forced to close and MacNews was unable to meet officially. However, we have decided to pool our resources in order to put out a special issue for all of you. Because of the chaos caused by the fluttery white stuff, we were not able to contact all of our usual writers. We apologise profusely for anyone who wanted to write an article but couldn't. Anywho, enjoy the articles! (If this ever gets published. If it doesn't, you won't be reading it anyways and it won't matter.)
Snowed-In
What four-letter word makes everyone wince? It's not QUIZ, TEST or even the mother of all evaluations, EXAM, but a simple force of bitter old Mother Nature, SNOW. It's white, cold and a pain in the neck to walk through when there's a metre-high heap of it between you and MAC. As you can tell, presently, I'm not much of a winter enthusiast. Snow. It's cold, wet, and, in my opinion, should stay on ski slopes, where it belongs. Some may claim that snow, a part of nature, is "beautiful", and "nice to look at", but I'd like to meet someone who's enjoyed shoveling snow the last week or so.
What I say is who needs plows, snow blowers, or even shovels if the government just issues flame-throwers to all Torontonians? Imagine: "Dad, Mom, I'm going outside right now to clear the driveway and sidewalk! Be back in a sec! FFFFFCCCCCHHHHH!!!!!" All of our problems would be solved! Well, there would be many injuries, maybe even deaths and possibly the entire city would flood, and the streets would be covered with ice because of all of the melted snow, but it'd be really cool, eh? I really don't care what anyone tells me, but personally, I liked it better last year when winter wasn't white, but an asphalt-greyish colour.
Maybe I've forgotten, but was snow always like this? Didn't it always seem to be fun as a child? Ah, I can remember it now, I'd go to the neighbourhood park, and ride down the hill until my legs felt like they were about to fall off. But we can't do that anymore. If a 16-year-old was to take a "Krazy Karpet" to the park and ride down, he'd get funny looks from the parents of the children who rightfully occupy the park. And besides, who has the time with all of our exams?
My proposition to all MAC students is the following: Never say the word "snow" again. Simply remove it from your vocabulary. Who needs it anyway? In normal times, it doesn't come up that often. If you just stop saying it, it might actually go away. Signing off for now!
Splinter
So, after the apingaut this year on January 2nd, we just kept getting more and more apun! Millions of kanniks must have fallen on our driveways in the past two weeks. Don't you hate it when the apun-plow comes through, and makes all those aniuvaks? Then, when you shovel all of it away, you end up with kanigruak on your face and hands. Well, count yourselves lucky. At least we didn't have a sisuuk, like that poor community in Northern Quebec. And if you shovel your driveway while it's still nutigak or akillukkak, and not aniu, then it isn't too bad!
"Huh?" you ask. Well, you may have heard that the Inuit have many words for snow. Here are a few of them which should help you understand the first paragraph:
apun - snow
apingaut - first snowfall
aput - spread-out snow
kanik - frost
kanigruak - frost on a living surface
ayak - snow on clothes
kannik - snowflake
nutagak - powder snow
aniu - packed snow
aniuvak - snowbank
natigvik - snowdrift
kimaugruk - snowdrift that blocks something
perksertok - drifting snow
akelrorak - newly drifting snow
mavsa - snowdrift overhead and about to fall
kaiyuglak - rippled surface of snow
pukak - sugar snow
pokaktok - salt-like snow
miulik - sleet
massak - snow mixed with water
auksalak - melting snow
aniuk - snow for melting into water
akillukkak - soft snow
milik - very soft snow
mitailak - soft snow covering an opening in an ice floe
sillik - hard, crusty snow
kiksrukak - glazed snow in a thaw
mauya - snow that can be broken through
katiksunik - light snow
katiksugnik - light snow deep enough for walking
apuuak - snow patch
sisuuk - avalanche
Nony LaSouris
For all of you out there who desperately want to expand your vocabulary, here's your chance. The following is a short list of words that you may not use very often or that you may not use at all. Perhaps you know the word but don't understand the meaning or you have the meaning but don't know the word. Whatever the case, this list will somehow help you.
bargello - a zig-zag pattern that is hand-stitched
bunkum - nonsense, especially that which deals with politics
dogsbody - person who does boring or unpleasant jobs for others
echidna - a mammal living in Australia, Tasmania, and New Guinea. It is nocturnal, has a sticky tongue, eats insects, lays eggs, and is toothless.
glitterati - fashionable people
krona - unit of money in Sweden and Iceland
modicum - a small amount
sapid - having a strong agreeable taste
yaws - tropical skin disease causing raspberry-like swelling
zephyr - a soft and gentle breeze
These are words that can easily be incorporated into everyday conversation and nice fitting sentences. For example, the words "bargello", "bunkum", "dogsbody", "echnida", "glitterati", "krona", "modicum", "sapid", "yaws", and "zephyr" were all words that were listed on a MacNews article. Happy vocabulary expanding!
Peculiar Display
Snow. Please, don't stop here. I know, it's yet again ANOTHER snow related article. But read on, you'll discover some of the things that I pondered during this snow epidemic. (And also, this is a short article.)
First of all, we, the human race, are weird. We can send people to the moon, shoot bombs that destroy thousands, build whole cities, and make clones named "Dolly", but we have to declare an emergency and call in the military because we have over 110 cm of snow. Secondly, -40° Celsius and lots of white fluffy stuff can bring out the good side of people. Some provided shelter for the homeless, many hospital workers stayed overnight to work extra hours, and neighbours helped each other shovel snow.
Just some unusual thoughts that surfaced during my ponderings. Maybe I've been snowed in too long.
Peculiar Display
A dreadful day arrived in the former city of Scarborough just a few short months ago. A beloved hang out closed its doors for the final time.
Risen from the Ashes, a local comic book store closed down without much notice in mid-October. Risen, as it was called by the people who visited the store, sold video games, sports collectibles, movies, card games, and of course, comic books.
Even though the event occurred several months ago, there are still some misunderstandings surrounding the closing. Some people still believe that the store has moved, which is unfortunately not true. According to a reliable source (one of the store's employees), "One of the owners decided not to do it any more." Which lead to the closure.
The closing was surprising to everyone who visited the store regularly, almost as if the closing was unexpected. In hindsight, the events that occurred during the week prior to the closing hinted at the store's future:
Farewell to the store which will not rise from the ashes again.
Smutton
Here's a special announcement for all you music students out there. If you don't know already, the Florida trip's been cancelled. It has been replaced with...
A trip to the auditorium! No glamourous Disney sets. No handshakes with Mickey Mouse. No bright lights and roller coasters. All we have left are dull curtains and cranberry or fluorescent red music sweaters.
But look on the bright side. We don't have to risk an airplane crash, and we get exercise by walking up and down the tech hall and to Tyrrell. Instead of carrying heavy luggage, all we have to carry are stands and chairs. Rather than waste a whole week in a foreign country, we get time to practise on Monday nights! Instead of bunking with fellow musicians in a hotel, we get to snooze next to them in music class. Instead of spending $1000 on a trip, we can buy 600 raffle tickets to support the music program. Rather than getting heatstroke, we can get exercise shovelling snow. Rather than breathing in the fresh air of Florida, we can catch pneumonia and teach our class something in biology.
As you can see, there are many benefits to staying in Canada. In conclusion, we would like to thank the Ty-Mac Parents Association for choosing to cancel the Florida trip. We are certain that our trips to the auditorium will be much more educational and entertaining.
The Travelling Musicians
This year, there are just too many nines. I could put up with double nines, but three is too much. It just doesn't look right. It may be acceptable when heard, but not in written form. My suggestion is that we write the year out in words, that is, "nineteen ninety-nine", although it still look awkward. Another method is too incorporate your math skills. Go back a few years, and add the number of years needed to produce the year 1999. Since this all sounds confusing, I will display a few examples:
1998 + 1
1997 + 2
1901 + 98
1302 + 697
I believe it is easier to stick with A.D. if you plan to use this method. Happy eighteen-day old year!
Peculiar Display
10. Stay inside and rot
9. Do your homework ("Ha!")
8. Shovel your lawn and put all the snow on your driveway (or your worst enemy's driveway)
7. Spoon yourself out (or use a fork if you have time)
6. Go to the mall (like the army did after the snow emergency didn't appear)
5. Study for exams (Double "Ha!")
4. Peel a coconut
3. Shovel snow off your roof (or build a snow fort up there)
2. Call the hospital when your friends carry you inside after you break your leg (from falling off the roof)
1. Put together a Snowed-In Issue of MacNews
Temp. MacNews Crew
Walking down a Macdonald hall can give a variety of experiences. Of course, there are happy memories like chatting with friends or yelling across the hall. However, there are many unpleasant memories such as slipping on wet floors, being blinded in the sunshine hall, and walking in the "wrong lane". Yet the most horrible of nightmares is meeting a figure of authority in the hall, also known as a "staff member" (SM for short). Usually, they aren't too scary, but maybe you owe them homework or failed to meet them for an appointment. Either way, they often come with an indescribable awkward moment in which you are never sure about how you should respond to them. To kindly help anyone ever caught in such a situation, I have, with much research, written down a few suggestions:
Peculiar Display
Well, as we look outside, the snow has started to melt, and it looks like there won't be any more long weekends until after the March Break. Anywho, we hope you have enjoyed this special issue of MacNews. We certainly had fun putting it together for you.
Snowed In
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