An excellent question -one that evolves over time, from
who is in my community,
to what is community, vs. family,
to how does one build community?
"Common committment to the idea of community": open communication, positive action, and being proactive and consensus-oriented. That is the type of community I hope to help build.
I see that my experience of Judaism shapes my ideas of the world, and of community. I find myself thinking that, despite my own personal feelings about a given person, the fact that that person is a member of my community entitles that person to something from me: my acceptance, my patience, my invitation to a community event; some acknowlegement that we are in the same boat, and that like him or not, as long as he accepts my personal boundaries, I cannot exclude him simply on the basis of arbitrary personal dislike or taste.
Is this, perhaps, part of what the Rabbis were getting at when they said that all of Israel was responsible for one another? In one way, maybe...
What is the relationship between community and family?
I suppose that I see them as nearly the same, in alot of ways. Coming from the kind of family of origin environment in which there was no sense of rootedness, support, unconditional caring, or belonging, I find myself, as an adult, constantly trying to create relationships to substitute for the caring of a family, the place to go during the family holidays, and the support network that allows for arguments, while still knowing that you will be there for each other. The kind of testing that is done as a teenager, which must be done within safe boundaries of care and respect, has had to play out, for me, within the boundaries of close friendships. Those that withstood those tests, unintentional as they were, have become to me, what family apparently seems to be for many other people. That one place you can go, say something off the wall, and know that it won't be held against you -for too long, anyway. :-)
Family, and perhaps a strong community, then, may provide a sense of emotional security that each person needs in order to go out into the world and be or do what she wants to do, wrapped in the knowledge that, failure or success, she will be accepted by a core of loving supporters, and nurtured.
Does community have a responsibility to care for all of it's members?
Well, Judaism seems to think so: bikur cholim is visiting the sick, which is caring for each other physically, while the custom that was practiced when I lived in Baltimore, of families asking singles if they had places to go for both sedarim (First and second night of Passover is the traditional time for families to eat the Pesach Seder together). This seems to be a form of caring for members of the community emotionally, also. Is this an obligation? I don't know how to justify it rationally, but I really think it is and important obligation. One of the things that a famous psychologist came up with a while ago was that suicides tend to isolate themselves. It is difficult for an isolated and depressed person to ask for help, increasing the isolation. One of the jobs of community (specifically who in the community is anyone's guess, I suppose) is to reach out to the isolated members of that community and prevent the isolation from going to its ultimate possible conclusion. To turn a person from a drain on the community into an asset for the community, is that an objective, or simply to include the person in the community? I would once have answered that from the asset point of view, but now I will say that simply to include a member is enough. Let each individual decide what is right for her life.
Interesting question: does home schooling exclude children from the community (assuming that a Jewish day-school exists in the local area)?
Toward Peace For All, Paz para todos,
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