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Undead Adventure  

[Purposely Rude Troll] 

A "Buff" Day  

Colors of Life

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A Purposely Rude Troll  
 
The bell rang, signalling the end of another day of school. I elbowed my way through a wall of kids to my locker.  

"Hey Allie, when you gonna call another Green Club meeting?" Hanna called from a few lockers down. She was one of the most 
active members of our club, always finding areas that needed fixing up.  

"Oh, I don't know. Next week maybe? The school grounds are looking pretty good right now, so we don't have much to do."  

"Okay...see ya!" She started off down the hall to find her brother. I opened my locker and scooped up my stuff.  

As I walked outside, I was blinded by the sun. The sky was a deep blue, the grass emerald green and the trees bursting with the first leaves of spring. Wandering along the edge of the school yard, I realized with a start that one corner of the field was brown and yellow and cast with shadows caused by nothing I could spot at the moment.  

Since I was head of the Nature Restoration Committee, I figured I had better check it out.  

As I neared the area, a sudden unexplained feeling of sadness overwhelmed me. The air became thick and humid, holding my 
senses captive and making me cough.  

I surveyed the area slowly, still wheezing on the rancid air, and discovered an abyss filled with brown fog emitting a stench more 
powerful than a hunk of rotten Limburger cheese.  

From out of the mist came a voice that made me cringe. It sounded like a thousand people dragging their fingernails down a 
chalkboard. "Who are you? Get lost! Leave! Why are you prying in other's business, imbecile child? GO AWAY!"  

There was a flash of light and the wide blue sky beyond the fog became black. A cloud blotted up the sun like spilt ink and the 
schoolyard was bathed in darkness. With a sudden clap of thunder, a creature appeared.  

Pockmarked skin the color of old tea bags, covered his emaciated figure, showing all the bones underneath. Veins stuck out like blue strings of spaghetti. His feet were covered in ragged leather boots tied up with sinew, looking much like lunch bags with twist ties on top. His hands resembled an owl's talons; muscular with long sharp claws that dripped blood. The creature's mustard yellow eyes were covered with a film of scuzzy tissue. His hooked nose oozed green fluid, exuding the message of "no personal hygiene".  

Shaking with fear, I tried to flee but was horrified to find that my feet were rooted to the ground. I opened my mouth to scream 
but no sound would come out.  

"So my friend, do you like my little disaster?" The creature smiled with a crooked grin and then furrowed his brows, seriously 
contemplating something that took a great deal of concentration. "There...ahh...that's better. Do I sound okay now? The voice I was using before takes so much energy, I use it very sparingly and only for scaring people". His voice had now morphed into a human voice while the body unfortunately had not.  

A number of questions rolled around in my head, as I waited for my voice to return.  

"Oh dear, I forgot something!" he said attempting to look apologetic but succeeding only in looking even more revolting.  

"My name is Enoch. I am a muta-troll, the name used for trolls which don't fit the normal standards. I am from the realm of 
blackness, the city of Wroclaw, past all living things inside the heart of evil. I was born in your most frightening nightmares, waiting for the moment when I could emerge from hiding and feed upon your unsuspecting soul to fill the void inside me."  

"Do you like my introduction?" he asked, obviously quite impressed with himself. "It's mandatory. I suppose it's used to invoke fear. It doesn't even describe me! Oh dear, I forgot something else didn't I. You can't talk. I'll fix that!" The troll took a deep breath and then made some kind of bizarre gesture over my mouth.  

"Thanks." I quavered.  

"Tell me your name!" he demanded.  

"Allie."  

"Humph!" he sneered, obviously expecting no less of an introduction from me, than he had previously supplied.  

"So, when are you going to eat me?" I asked, feeling my stomach start to churn, and my lunch rise in my throat.  

"Oh no!" he exclaimed. "Remember.... I told you I'm not like other trolls. I can't bear eating meat. (No pun intended) No! Not 
child-meat, pig-meat, cow-meat, not anything meat!"  

"Well then why do you have blood dripping from your claws?" I asked doubtfully.  

"Oh that! That's just ketchup. I was in a hurry and stopped at a fast food place for some fries."  

"Okay, but why do you have pus dripping from your nose?"  

"I have these terrible allergies." he snuffled, wiping his nose on the back of his hand, carefully avoiding the claws. "Occupational 
hazard I guess."  

"How can you even see with all that scuzzy stuff over your eyes? That's disgusting!" I was feeling much braver now. Come to think of it, why are you even here?" I was feeling more than a little annoyed at this point. The thought occurred that a stuffed and mounted troll would make a great "show and tell". I bet I would get a lot of extra points for it.  

"I am a Nature Conservationist." the troll said smugly. "I was working on this area when you interrupted me." He seemed a bit 
miffed at the interruption.  

"If you're a Nature Conservationist why did you create this horrible pollution pit right where my school's Green Zone project is?"  

"Well....I figured it would be an ideal place to create a disaster what with it being so ecological and all. I'll clean it up again. That's my job but to clean up areas I have to learn how first. So....I make a mess then experiment on it. This area is now a cross between a war zone and a landfill. I found the perfect solution just before you showed up."  

"Then use it now please!" I grimaced, holding my nose in protest as my stomach wrenched, overcome by it all.  

"Oh yeah, sure, everyone wants a quick fix. Well it isn't always that easy you know." Enoch snapped his claws two times, sang a slightly off key C major scale and stomped the ground three times. Before I could blink, the site was back to normal.  

"Hey! That's amazing! Listen, maybe we could work out a deal?!" I smiled at the thought of having all that power at my fingertips. 

"Uh, sorry, 'fraid not." said the troll. It's against the rules. But I can give you pointers on how to keep the school grounds clean if 
you let me use this area for testing once in a green moon."  

"Sure! It's a deal!" I said, carefully shaking hands on it.  

"Hey Allie. Wait up." I turned to see Hanna waving to me from across the field. When I turned back, Enoch was gone.  

I caught up to Hanna and as we walked, I told her about my encounter with Enoch.  

"Oh Allie. You've been listening to the little kids too much. You've just described the Oogey Monster they say lives in the school basement!"  

Trolls live under bridges; basement you say?  

Do you think maybe Enoch... hmm... Nah!