8-22-98: School Phobia

"Just calm down," my brain tells me,"the first day of school will be the best!" Of course, do I actually believe my brain and trust my gut instinct? No! Devastingly, I am just a hapless teenager who is very pessimistic about what I say to myself.

Here are the stupid reasons I am feeling so low about school:

-My new glasses won't arrive until after I go to my first day at school. I'll have new shoes, new clothes: without nice new glasses to top it off! I'm very paranoid over little things like that.
-I am having the worst August anybody could have nightmares about.
-According to my horoscope, the 24th(when I go to school) is not a best day for me. Darnit! But for my friend, it is a good day and when she arrives at school wearing contacts, I'll be left with my old, ugly glasses!
-I want to wear my platform shoes(they make me at least 5'3 and a half, give or take), but they hurt my right foot's pinkie toe if I wear them for too long!(oh, the heartbreak this has caused!)
-I have Algebra last period! I just can't think straight at this time! I'm the type of person who's at my personal acedemic best in the morning! Noooooo!
-I have homeroom with a friend who happens to annoy me all the time. I'll just have to ignore him by talking to my other friends in that class. Of course, then he'll get all huffy and mad, but I'm sure he can handle the stress.
-I finally saw the first episode of Daria in which she goes to the first day of school after recently moving into the area. In this, she takes a test for self-esteem and flunks, while her sister Quinn quickly partakes into a social array of popularity(that doesn't really make sense, but it makes me sound very intellectual) I think seeing this episode is a bad omen to what might happen...

So now you know that I'm a slightly paranoid freak who needs to get a life. Unfortunately, I view myself as an optimistic who is overflowing with pure talent and contradictions.

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