If Only
Austin hated the smell of vanilla. The horrible stench. That overwhelming odor. Just thinking about it made him want to throw up. The scent was too posessive as it wrapped around him, and tried to suffocate him.
All he could think about was his motherless childhood. He had to get over it somehow, but he knew he never would. The past was too powerful, and too dominant. There was no way out.
He kept on getting flashbacks he had no control over. It wasn't fair. I just wasn't fair....
10 year old Austin came home after school, and found that his father had come home early. He knew this was not good, and he went into the living room where his father sat on the tattered old couch. The smell of vanilla wafted in from everywhere.
Austin knew that his father had put the scent of vanilla around the house, since his mother loved it. His father would sit, and think about the woman he had married. Vanilla remind him of her, and seemed to draw her closer. So close.... Once the vanilla smell went away, he would put his head in his hands, and cry.
His son wished that his dad wouldn't act that way. His mother had died two years back, but Dad still couldn't handle it. He longed for the times when he would cheer him on at a baseball game, or take him for a father-son outing. But it would never come true.
Now, Austin was all grown up. He still remembered everything oh so vividly like one huge nightmare. Would he be this loser with a dead end job if his mother had lived? Would he be successful, with a wife and two or so kids?
He felt that the answer had to be yes. If only if the situation had been different. If only he could be a survivor who managed to overcome adversities.
If only.
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