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"Out on The Edge" fractal jpg by Harmony
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A number of people have told me that I have been "too modest" and that I need to tell a bit more about myself. Hmmmm. I will try and correct that a bit. Hopefully in the "telling a bit more about myself stuff" I won't go off the deep end in the opposite direction and end up appearing vain, self-centered, and self-obsessed (which of course, I really am, along with being too modest). But whatever! I trust in that self-regulating influence and balance of the universe which says that if our heads get so swelled up we can't walk through doorways, sooner or later the Great Resizer comes along and Whomp! There we are, cut down to size and humbled beyond belief (much to the relief of those around us) Actually, what's behind all this, is this; long ago I promised myself that I would live a life of adventure. |
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This arose from early childhood, when I read book after book that featured boys going off on wild adventures. Whole universes of magic and unlimited possibility beckoned to me. However, I was a girl and could find very few books of girls going off on wild adventures. Furthermore, when I grew a bit older, I learned that "Adventuress" was, in fact, a disparaging term for a woman. Not fair!! I resolved to correct this situation by having as many adventures as possible! I did this so enthusiastically and so well, that unfortunately I ended up with a life that is unbelievable. Honestly. One day I sat down and listed all the things that had happened, and all the people I had met, and I thought No way!! If even I don't believe all this stuff happened in my life, who else would? So why even bother to talk about it? But apparently some people want me to talk about it, sooooooo... |
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....to get on with it;
thus it is that some of my life adventures have included such extremes as: Taking tea with a well-known millionaire's wife Being homeless. Opening a concert for one of the greatest folksinger-songwriters in the US when I was 17; Being quasi-kidnapped by a Hollywood actor and taken to a well-known sect's temple in the hopes of being indoctrinated into it running into a UFO late at night north of Nepenthe Having my kids babysat by a really sweet and pretty girl, who nowadays is a well-known Hollywood Actress. (no! I'm not telling her name. I'd rather you think I was inventing this.) Attending a Hell's Angels party when I least expected to. And so on, and so on. But what does it mean? I hear this quiet, Zen voice asking me. What do all these adventures really mean? And all these famous people, and this thing that you did, and that thing that you did, and yadda, and bladda. What do they really mean? A couple of responses to Zen Voice come up; one being "I'm not worrrtheeee!!" Another being "Don't ask me, I haven't got a clue!". |
| And yet still another one arises out of sequence and without logic from a place a little further into the Quietness...this is the part of us that will go off into the forest and sit with our back against a tree. I feel the bark pressing into my back through my clothes. I just wait, and am still. I am so still inside that at some point I blend with the forest. And it is at that point that a wild chipmunk comes up to me, and takes one of the seeds from my open hand, and eats it. And that's what it means, that's all that need have any meaning, and the meaning need not make any "sense". |
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The second promise to myself arose when I realized that, on Planet Earth, the condition of Fear runs rampant. Whole lives are imprisoned by it, and people held hostage. Racism flourishes on it; blackmailers apparently make quite a living out of "threatening to tell". Threatening to tell what, I ask. People and society are quite good at leaping to conclusions and passing judgments anyway. So where was I. Just about everytime I have given in to my fears and reacted out of them I have regretted it. So why live a life that's controlled by them? Oh yes- one day I was thinking about the phrase "my life is an open book", and I decided that if my life had to be like any particular open book it would be like the Bible. Soap operas have nothing on the Bible; everything goes on in that book! So damn the torpedos and full speed ahead! Well, geez. Enough of all this. I am putting this up on a page on my website and will probably want to have said everything completely differently from how I put it down on paper this time. Whatever! I am going to get out and find out what you are all thinking and doing. *Smile* |
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