it's my way of telling without having the embarrassment of him hearing...so there...
time for pink squishy bunnies again...cause i know i messed up this time by uttering 2 words...(i think she wouldn't even be close to me)..
something draws me towards that damn place...trying to find the thing i messed up for...and i hope my beautiful one still loves me..he knows i'd go mad without him..i hope
i saw today what i thought only happened in my inconsistency..but i knew she'd go back...she can't keep an identity, more or less a final decision..it shocks me, and hurts me, because i always begged but was never taken back....it's funny tho, so i'll forget it..cause i know i'm over that pathetic stage...
the other day i looked back thru the time i had complete power over someone..it drives me crazy that i messed that up..i could have given more and should have..M (can'tsaytherealone) deserved it..it's just too funny how i thought it was so unbelievable...that i could never see it coming..i think M would have helped me thru nick..i was afraid to let too much out..those silly letters..i see them as so much more...don't tell...(you said you loved me, you never told me that to my face...you never even meant to let me know..i would've told you the same..it could have become something)..how the whole relationship changed now..the way M looks at me..like i'm something disgusting..it hurts...can't let that show tho..can't

so many people have forgotten me again..i don't know what i'd do if i needed them...but i've needed them before and they didn't care...i'm not sure why i call them my friends then..i need to be a child..