numerous people whining i think must pay off..no one can ignore everyone and things must start to make sense after 6..
so it's all again and again..like it was or should have been..but because of the way we work it lingers..so that i can finally have what i can't for awhile...but dreams come and with it the hallucinations of dancing and holding hands..

i don't want to feel involved because it's hard to explain to xtian..i'm not sure what it should be but i'm always pressured to figure it out and tell tell tell..i thought we all learning a long time ago that that never happens even if everything is sorted out end to end..