i finally got something so weird..i'm not sure if it will come to me again...i'm not sure if i want it to..i do, but then i don't....but IIII do...there's something else here that doesn't want me to want it...arg...anyways

yesterday was just a day to tease me and to ask for the thing that i hate...he knows i hate it...maybe he doesn't know enough..sure sure sure if that's what makes him happy but i feel like i need some sort of experience and that i will look like a little girl...i think i am tho..i suppose..i am almost 18 tho..soon...hurry hurry..

i WILL move out regardless of money...i can't take another year at this house..i saw how much i hated this family when i had to take HER shopping...all's she did the whole time was belittle me and make me into some horrible person because i don't obsess over being clean..i obsess over more important things...like scarves and travis...