April 25, 1999

I'm scared of getting my hopes up again...i'm never sure if i'm being fed bs or if it's true...i like to pretend it is tho...i've wanted to hear that for so long..and maybe this, will help me forget old ones...nothing else has helped in the past..
i just don't want to expect everything i wanted in the past and get hurt again because i knew in the first place it wouldn't follow thru..

i wish those two people weren't there...

now it's hours later and i can't stop thinking..i wish he'd just give me one chance because all's i want is to touch him...but he's with her and there's a baby and i have to stand by and watch just like it was with meghan...everything's pulling and every thought and fantasy goes towards him...every other minute i have to pull it up and look at the pictures .... here comes an old obsession...