July 5, 1999

it's been too long since i've done anything with this page..i need to load some pictures onto my computer and hopefully tomorrow i will be taken more so i can add on to my digital page..

my birthday is almost here...i thought being 18 would be freedom but it doesn't look like it since i wrecked my car again..i'm not sure when i get it back but my friends are finally being serious about moving out now...
travis is being too honest i think..he made such a dramatic change and all the sudden we're going to spend the rest of our lives together..but i know how that worked last time..but now he's realizing that i block him out of my thoughts like i do everyone else...i'm not trying to be horribly numb or apathetic, but i just can't let people too far inside without feeling like i'm simple or i'm just really nothing at all..
on that subject..i'm told that i won't say anything verbally in person, but i will say just about anything on here..i don't think it's true...i'm not as abstract as i used to be...but i'm also not trying to let so much out without saying anything at all..i don't have to try to communicate what i feel to xtian anymore because i'm sure he doesn't care now...