i'm not sure what's happening now...every promise was taken back so i'm standing still again...there's been a lot of screaming and i'm never too sure why i'm so horrible...he never wants to listen to me and when he does he only takes what i say and almost make fun of me for it...i can never be mad because if i have feelings about anything, he wants to leave...and i'm scared of every move i make because it might be the wrong one...i must be doing something wrong or he wouldn't be like that..right?

when i graduated, i thought i wouldn't have to deal with the stupidity of hateful people...i think i need to move away where i don't know anyone..to start over..i might not have anyone i know..but i'm used to being alone..and one friend is all i need..well, and travis..he can be that one person..then everything will be perfect...move to chicago with him and go to art school...an actually city to explore..i'm not too good at meeting people but it might happen...and we can learn our way around together...find things we like together..that both of us like...and go out together like we never do...
but he wouldn't want to live in the city..or go to a place where no one knows him or he knows no one...so i guess we'll stay here..it's fun to dream anyways