finally gone amd moved...no computer at home...so i end up having to come back here.
i'm glad to be away from this town..i do with that i could move farther away and get a new job and just start over...it seems as tho then when i don't have any friends, it will be ok because i have just moved there and i don't know anyone yet...as here, i just don't have any friends..
i wanted to get a job at hallmark because they hire a lot of photography jobs...but i found out that i need a college degree and i don't see that happening with my working full time...there are some photo classes i want to take at a different community college in kansas that i think might help me get some kind of job...the thing is is that it would be such a long drive..well not really long but it would be a bitch with rush hour and so on...and i'm terrible paranoid of driving on the interstate in bad weather and i try to avoid it.
i wish i could find some friends online that are like me and are near me..i want beautiful people to take pictures of...i can't meet people face to face because i'm too shy...but if i was to try to make some friends online i'm sure travis would accuse me of cheating on him or something along those lines...i think that is one major thing that keeps me from doing a lot of things i want to do...travis will get mad...things that are harmless and simple...he can always find some way to twist it to make me look like a bad person or that i'm doing something wrong or cheating on him....and you know what? that really pisses me off..he knows how paranoid i am of him leaving me for someone beautiful or cheating on me, and then he accuses me of stuff like that...and it's not even like he's concerned...it's like he uses that accusation to get mad at me..he never cares, he just gets mad...he never gets hurt or concerned, he just gets mad...that's all he fucking feels and it gets to me...he can never be caring when there is something wrong...he just gets mad
anyhow..i'm tired of ranting about him...he'll read this and prolly get mad anyways