ah,...finally...i'm too shy and i can never take offers serious
how long i've wanted that tho..more..too shy..damn

hopefully hopefully tomorrow will be more preductive..don't know how to spend the day..i realize how pathetic my life really is now..but maybe saturday i will finally see xtian...don't know how he's going to act towards me..but..we should prolly talk some..as much as i hate opening up..he deserves words tho..doesn't he?
maybe i don't need him as much as i thought...i know, later i'll think different
maybe all's i needed was time away to think and go crazy