i've convinced myself of everything bad and came to a wonderful surprise...i think...if only that silly deadline wasn't there things could be so much easier...but lies always come..i've perfected it..
tonight i think i might just finally say something...but it's never ever like that...i walk myself thru everything a million times and tell myself not to shake..it never comes out tho..but that's what cards are for right? it got me there last time..altho with a bit of embarrassment..
the expensive kind always runs...slips thru the lines in my face and i end up looking beaten...which i had this dream about...about skeletons so broken and noses bleeding in the bathroom...a horrible apartment with suntan lightbulbs and my skin turning orange like the plastic girls at school...
horrible