"If not now, when? If not me who?"

Articles Published from July 1, to July 31, 1999.

Articles Published from June 1, to June 30, 1999.

Queen Elizabeth's husband has put his foot in his mouth again -- with a
cheap swipe at Asian Indians. Prince Philip -- who in the past has
insulted the Chinese, the Scots, Hungarians and even the deaf -- sent jaws
dropping as he visited a high-tech factory near Edinburgh yesterday. Noticing
a fuse box that appeared less sophisticated than other devices in the
factory, Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, quipped: "It looks as though it was
put in by an Indian."

The remark - referring to Britain's substantial population of
immigrants from India - was immediately blasted by the National Assembly Against
Racism. "What he said is absolutely abysmal. It's typical of someone
his age, his time and his class to say something like this," said a group

spokesman. Last night, Buckingham Palace issued an apology and
insisted the 78-year-old Philip was joking. "The duke regrets any offense which
may have been caused by remarks he is reported as making," a spokesman said.
"With hindsight, he accepts that what were intended as lighthearted
comments were inappropriate." Philip's "inappropriate" comments over the years have

scandalized the royal family. He once asked a Scottish driving
instructor: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them
past the test?" On a trip to China in the 1980s, he warned British students:
"You'll get slitty eyes if you stay too long." And earlier this year, as he
visited a group of deaf kids in Wales, he joked that it was "no wonder" they
couldn't hear, because they were standing near a brass band. Even his
daughter, Princess Anne, is not immune to his off-the-cuff blunders.
He once said of Anne's lifelong love of horses: "If it does not eat hay, she
is not interested." The duke is the second high-profile Brit to be accused
this week of racism. Best-selling novelist Jeffrey Archer, London mayoral
hopeful, was ripped for pushing racist stereotypes by remarking that
30 years ago, black women were overweight and badly dressed.

Prince Philip, made that remark over a fuse box designed to improve
railway safety. The remark came days after the Gaisal train disaster in India
that left about 300 people dead.

This was at least the second time that Prince Philip made a remark
critical of Indians. He did so during the Queen's visit to Jallianwalah Bagh,
Amritsar, in 1997 when he said information about the killing by the
British on the site was all wrong. Jallianwalah Bagh was the site of the
April 13, 1919, massacre of hundreds of peaceful protestors by British police.

After he made the latest remark, a spokesman from Buckingham Palace
issued a statement saying: "The Duke of Edinburgh regrets any offence which
may have been caused by remarks he is reported as making."

Kumar Murshid, chairman of the National Assembly Against Racism,
said: "It is absolutely abysmal and disgraceful for him to say such a thing."
He said the royal family has considerable influence and that "people look up
to the royal family and expect them to set an example to the public."

But it is rather usual for people to make nasty asides about Indian
sense of aesthetics. It true, Indians live in conditions not quite comparable
to the West. But are gilt-edged picture frames our prime concern when there
are a million hungry mouths to feed, hundreds of thousands of sick to
tend-to, a country to build up from centuries of depravation forced on us by the
British?

Rather than smirking with the savvier-than-thou attitude, can the
Prince pay attention to what his predecessors have done to India and make amends
for it?

Contributed by sujatha koganti.
Comments
Indian bashing is a popular British sport. As for Prince Philip, his
ignorance is exceeded only by his insensitivity.

-- Tarun Hukku
Add a comment

You all know who I am talking about, little divils running around
making their usual and customary farting noises when they are nailed
down for what they are, idiots.

I told you that I do not like to present anecdodal evidence or
personal reminiscences but this one needs one from my arsenal of
weapons. We had a giant company making tons of money and top notch
management and hordes of less than minimum working force.

The owner decided to have total make up of company to give it
respectable look. Uniforms of peons changed to look like as if they came
from Mughal dynasty's warehouse. Executive offices had face lift, the
latest bathroom, imported Italian marble, hot and cold water, running
most of the time, meals served to the managers by Goanese khansama and
bearer clicked his highly polished shoes every time he served you baida
curry. Yessir, nossiring galore, army like averted eyes that never ever
looked you straight.

The new look was imminent as American buyers were entertained by
dozens not to forget the desi bada babus, suppliers, and area stockists
with their high falutin' manners and mores. If you were not yet
genuinely bada of bada babus you shared a common executive bathroom of
the same glitz as the top level managers only shared and shared alike
among few, sometimes just two.

The problem was that one, god knows who, never learned to shit
properly on western style commode, did not know how to aim at the pot,
or thereabout. Every time he used the facility, resident bhangi had to
be summoned to clean the mess up. One such time I had to go and get him
as the job this nincompoop pooping in his desi manner was so hilarious
that I could barely keep it inside.

If supposed I had an anus that points southwards the only place I
could ever aim that shit is down. Not this bubba, he aimed it northward.
I am not kidding. As I reconstructed the event, this goddamned idiot was
squatting on the john with his muck ridden shoes, lost his balance and
in a fearful moment, in sort of panic, tumbled down from the throne in
the middle of a fiercely explosive shit ejection. There was not a place
in the bathroom that was not covered and coated with feces. Highly
embarrassed, the guy left the bathroom in shame, literally bolted from
office, perhaps to take bath to clean himself up. His aim, not
managerial aim must have been, "Aim High," one of the classic American
Marines recruiting slogans.

I stopped long time ago traveling Air India. That bathroom mess I just
described has been repeated. Imagine desi traveling to western country
and not knowing how the western facilities work. The awful smell, the
litter all over, the unflushed commodes, water spilled all over creation
as they try to clean their royal asses with water rather than use the
toilet tissue. When they use toilet tissues, they stuff the used ones in
the refuse bins, throw them bundled up in the corners and take forever
to shit, sometimes thousands of miles and several time zones must have
passed in between their entry and exit from the bathroom.

Sid Harth..."Prince may be little wanton in making a remark that he made
and he needs to be reminded that not all Indians are idiots, "most" all
of them are. There is a difference."