THE REST –    January 3
  

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

Below are instructions for life sent to me from Kasha Linka. This is not a joke, but 45 rules that will keep a smile on your face for the coming year.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE

    1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
    2. Memorize your favorite poem.
    3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.
    4. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
    5. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
    6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
    7. Believe in love at first sight.
    8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams.
    9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
    10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
    11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
    12. Talk slow but think quick.
    13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer,   smile and ask,"Why do you want to know?".
    14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great   risk.
    15. Call your mom.
    16. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
    17. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
    18. Remember the three R's:  Respect for self; Respect for others;   Responsibility for all your actions.
    19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
    20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps
    to correct it.
    21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in
    your voice.
    22. Marry a man you love to talk to.  As you get older, his conversational skills will be as important as any other.
    23. Spend some time alone.
    24. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
    25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
    26. Read more books and watch less TV.
    27. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think
    back, you'll   get to enjoy it a second time.
    28. Trust in God but lock your car.
    29. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
    30. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current
    situation.  Don't bring up the past.
    31. Read between the lines.
    32. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
    33. Be gentle with the earth.
    34. Pray. There's immeasurable power in it.
    35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
    36. Mind your own business.
    37. Don't trust a man who doesn't close his eyes when you kiss him.
    38. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
    39. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while
    you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
    40. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke   of luck.
    41. Learn the rules, then break some.
    42. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for
    each other is greater than your need for each other.
    43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get   it.
    44. Remember that your character is your destiny.
    45. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon

Fond Memories Submitted by Blair:

While transporting an elderly widower to the ER, he and I struck up a conversation. He pointed at the back windows of the ambulance to the road slowly pulling away from us. He began telling me of the long walks he and his wife of 60 years, along with their cocker spaniel, took along this road. He continued, saying how the dog would run back and forth between the two as they walk a short distance apart. What a wonderful time he must have had; a couple who had truly lived in their golden years.

He then paused, looked out the windows to the familiar road we rumbled down. His eyes moistened with fond memories, and said barely above a wisper: "she was the best dog I ever had!"

From Stitches.net

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear.

"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor. 

The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

From TIME TO SMILE

A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little  sister pulled his hair. 

"Don't be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn't realize that pulling hair hurts."

A short while later, there's more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate.  This time the sister is crying and her brother says, "Now she knows."

From TIME TO SMILE

The Prognosis

A guy hasn't been feeling well for a while, so he goes to the doctor for a check-up.   After he sees the doctor, the doc tells him he has a very serious condition and would like to talk to his wife.  So the
man leaves and sends his wife in.  The doctor tells the wife that her husband has a very serious condition and that he is going to die. 

However, the doctor tells her that there is one way she can save his life: She must cook him 3 meals a day, and do what he likes to do every night for 6 months and then he'll be OK.

When the wife leaves the office her husband asks her what the doctor said.

She looks at her husband and tells him, "He said you're gonna die."

From Stitches.net

This is a good Pun — but it's just a little late!

Christmas was over. Santa and his reindeer finally had a chance to rest. And they deserved it. They had done a good job!

Rudolph had a chance to do something he had wanted to do for a long time. He made an appointment with a plastic surgeon because he was so sensitive about his looks.

However, it wasn't his glowing proboscis that he wanted changed. He was proud of his red nose and the help he had given Santa because of it. Actually, he was sensitive about his long ears which were much more prominent than the ears of the average reindeer, or bear, for that matter.

So one week after Christmas, he let the good doctor do the reconstructive surgical procedure, and since that time, January 1st has been celebrated as ... New Ears Day! 

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

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