February 9, 2001 - All the Rest

ALL THE REST – February 9, 2001

The Blizzard is HERE. Quotations, facts and words will all pertain to snow over the next week or so!

Today's Quotations — Winter

What is life? It is a flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

— Crowfoot

Nature is full of freaks, and now puts an old head on young shoulders, and then takes a young heart heating under fourscore winters.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.

— Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"

We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.

— Woodrow Wilson

O fair mid-spring, besung so oft and oft,
How can I praise thy loveliness enow?
Thy sun that burns not, and thy breezes soft
That o'er the blossoms of the orchard blow,
The thousand things that 'neath the young leaves grow,
The hopes and chances of the growing year,
Winter forgotten long, and summer near.

— William Morris

Today's Word – PLAUSIBLE

plau·si·ble adjective 1. Seemingly or apparently valid, likely, or acceptable; credible: a plausible excuse. 2. Giving a deceptive impression of truth, acceptability, or reliability; specious: the plausible talk of a crafty salesperson.

The conjecture was at least a plausible one, and the detective began to seriously regret that he had embarked on the affair.

Around the World in 80 Days.
By Verne, Jules

Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

Today's Fact

Snowflakes

How full of the creative genius is the air in which these are
generated! I should hardly admire them more if real stars fell and lodged on my coat.
Henry David Thoreau

The Blizzard (two weeks of Daily Miscellany SNOW facts)
- Day 12 -

Snowflakes 12 - Leftovers

The North Pole is warmer than the South Pole. The Arctic Ocean does have at least some breaks that help warn the overlying air mass is a little. The South Pole, by contrast, sits high atop a mountainous glacier. During the winter this makes the South Pole often 50 degrees F. colder than the North Pole.

In the last 100 years the coldest winter in the lower 48 states was the winter of 1978-79.

The absolute record of how warm it can be and still snow may not be known. At LaGuardia Airport in New York city, flakes of snow were observed falling when the air temperature was 47 F.

Bad weather is often a factor in traffic accidents, but not as often as one would expect. In 1991 statistics were compiled that indicated that 86 % of traffic accidents occurred when weather was not a factor. For those accidents where poor weather was a factor 71% were due to rain while only 12% were attributed to snow.

One reason very cold weather often follows a snowstorm is due to light reflection. Fresh snow reflects more than 80% of the sun's energy directly back into space. Snow also efficiently radiates heat back into space during the night hours.

Sources Include: The Handy Weather Answer Book - Walter A. Lyons -Visible Ink Press

I'm running a bit late - but online today is the first of 7 Valentine pages. Each page will have a fact, quote and inspiration related to Valentine's Day.
Valentine 1

Today's SMILE

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)





Doctor Jokes

The doctor recommended a running schedule of ten miles a week for a patient. After a week, the patient called, "Doc, I'm seventy miles away now. What should I do now?'

A young girl was very much interested in the progress of her mother's pregnancy. Finally, the day of birth drew near and the girl overheard arrangements being made for her mother to go to the hospital.

She looked at her mother with great puzzlement and said, "Mom, I don't understand. If they're going to deliver the baby, why do you have to go to the hospital?"

"I just went to see my doctor."
"Which doctor?"
"He has been called a lot worse than that."

A patient described a pain in his stomach. Asked the doctor, "Did you have this pain before?"
The patient answered in the affirmative. Said the doctor, "Well, you got it again."

Patient: I think I need a second opinion.
Doctor: No problem. Come back tomorrow.

The Shopper's Dilemma

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an elderly lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."

"I'm very sorry," replied the young man. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said. "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!'? It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," answered the young man.

As the senior woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.

"How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

From - ZPH

From - Kasha Linka

Life is a Loaf of Bread

The Governor made room on his busy calendar to hear the pleas of one Mrs. Smith that her husband be released from the state penitentiary.
"What was he sentenced for?" asked the Governor gently.

"For stealing a loaf of bread," nervously replied the offender's wife.

"Is he a good husband?" asked the Governor.

"No," she replied frankly, blushing a bit. "He beats me when he gets drunk, he bullies our children, he's unfaithful, and really not much good at all."

"It sounds to me as though you're better off without him," said the Governor, and continued, "Why on earth do you want him out of jail???"

"Well," she explained, "we're out of bread again!"

TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

Absurdity n.: Fact that is explicitly inconsistent with your own opinion.

Daily Miscellany Comics

Have A Great Day

Phillip Bower

Soul Food February 9

Today in History February 9

Send Mail to pbower@neo.rr.com

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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.