TOP TEN REASONS FOR
JOINING THE CHURCH CHOIR
10. You're running out of clean clothes and the choir
robes save on laundry.
9.You've just been selected for jury duty and want to get used to sitting with a group of
people.
8. Your church is so full you want to ensure that you always have a seat.
7. The collection plate is never passed to the choir.
6. There's a clock at the back of the sanctuary and you want to be the first to know when
it's 12:00.
5. The preacher is new and you want to be close by in case he says something heretical.
4. For years you've wanted to know who sits in the back pews but were always afraid to
turn around.
3. You've been known to nod off during the service and don't want the preacher to catch
you.
2. The chairs in the choir are the most comfortable in the sanctuary.
1. Your favorite movie is Sister Act!
You call that talent!
Tina, the Hollywood agent, was so upset by her inability to find work for a singer that
she began to sob for her in front of her client.
Her client tried her best to comfort her, "Don't cry for me, Agent Tina."
A lion walks into a restaurant and orders a hamburger. "What does a lion
know?" thinks the waiter and charges the lion twelve dollars. After a while, the
waiter's curiosity gets the best of him. He goes over to the lion, casually wipes down the
table, and says, "Say, you know -- we don't get too many lions in here!"
The lion says, "I bet not. Not at these prices!"
Worker's Creed:
We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the
ungrateful. We have done so much for so long with so little, that we are now qualified to
do anything with nothing!
Paying attention in Sunday
School
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Art, a child in the Kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how
Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying
down as though he were ill, and asked him what was the matter.
Art cried, "My side hurts really bad - I think I'm having a
wife."
Looks Great
A man was ordered to Florida by his doctor for a month to recover
from a tricky operation. Unfortunately, he died there. The body was shipped back home. At
the funeral parlor, the widow was given an advance viewing by the Director, who said,
"Doesn't he look wonderful ?"
"Yes," agreed the widow. "I think those weeks in Florida did him a world of
good."
David A. Rinke II | Funny Pages Mailing List
TRUE FACT ...
Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year
olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.
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