April 19, 2001 - All the Rest

Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment; trust in money and you may have it taken from you; but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in time or eternity.

- D.L. Moody

Today's Word – INCALESCENT

in·ca·les·cent adjective Growing hotter or more ardent.

Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

Today's Fact


North is at the Top

One of the first things you learn when reading a map is where to find North.

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Why is north at the top of the map? Actually, the Ancient Greeks and Romans put East at the top of their maps. This was done because it was the direction of the rising sun. The early Christians and the Moslem nations followed suit also placing East at the top of their maps. East was selected because it was the location of the Garden of Eden. The east therefore deserved a position of honor. The altars in the churches were also placed on the eastern side of the church to give them a position of honor.

North gradually moved to the top of the map at the start of the fourteenth century. This was due to the fact that more and more armies, emissaries, and traders were traveling north. As more people traveled they went north to Europe where the majority of the population was located. For their convenience the direction traveled was placed at the top of the map.

Today's SMILE


A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

A FEW SMILES

VERY PUnny

One day, an elderly woman was walking along the street, coming home from the supermarket. Her bag of groceries was especially heavy that day, and as she passed Nathan Hale's Used Cars, she got an idea that she could drive herself to the store and save a lot of shoe leather, time and aching muscles. She walks into the car dealership and, as it just so happens, gets the owner himself. He asks her what kind of car she wants and she replies,"Well, sonny, I can't remember the name exactly, but it has something to do with hate or anger."

The owner replies, "Well, let's see... Oh yes, you want a Plymouth Fury! We have a couple on the lot. What color do you prefer?"

The lady has some trouble explaining the exact color to him, so she reaches into her shopping bag, takes out an ear of corn, strips down the shucks and says, "I want this color sonny."

To which Nathan replies, "Ma'am I'm sorry, but we don't have any in this color. Could I show you a nice blue one?"

"No son, I want this color."

"But ma'am, they didn't make that color! Maybe a cherry red one would suit you?" says the owner, obviously worried about losing a sale.

By this time, the old lady gets mad, and starts throwing things at the owner, thereby chasing him out of the office and into the lot. One of the salesmen, coming into the office from the back door, notices the disruption and asks the secretary what the old woman was so upset about.

The secretary replies, "Apparently, Hale hath no Fury like the woman's corn!"

Did you hear about the midget clairvoyant burglar that escaped from jail?

The headlines in the newspaper read "Small Medium at Large"

A mushroom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. The bartender says "we don't serve mushrooms here."

The mushroom says " Why? I'm a fun guy"

"The Department of Education says 40 million Americans cannot read or count. It's astounding. And if you don't believe it, just take a look at the person directly in front of you in the express checkout line."

From Zondervan - A Time To Smile us?"

THE MUST READ BOOK LIST

Without Warning by Oliver Sudden

And the Other People by Allan Sundry

Riel Ambush! by May T. Surprise

You're So Sweet by Mable Syrup

Prevent Drowning by Buddy System

Mineralogy for Giants by Chris Tall

Why Cars Stop by M.T. Tank

When's The Revolution? by Millie Tant

Tight Situation by Leah Tard

Tyrant of the Potatoes by Dick Tater

How to Buy Old Furniture by Ann Teak

Solving Crimes by D. Tective

I Wuz Framed! by Gil Tee

Trial Law by Tess Temoni

Animal Illnesses by Ann Thrax

What's Your Invention? by Pat Tent

All Alone by Saul E. Terry

I Hit the Wall by Isadore There

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Daily Miscellany Comics

Have A Great Day

Phillip Bower

Soul Food April 19, 2001

Today in History April 19, 2001

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Send Mail to pbower@neo.rr.com

Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.

	Happy the man, and happy he alone, He who can call today his own; He who secure within can say: Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today. Horace
		Happiness is essentially a state of going somewhere wholeheartedly, one-directionally, without regret or reservation. William H. Sheldon
	Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. Nathaniel Hawthorne
		The more refined one is, the more unhappy. Anton Chekhov.
	Do not worry; eat three square meals a day; say your prayers; be courteous to your creditors; keep your digestion good; exercise; go slow and easy. Maybe there are other things your special case requires to make you happy, but my friend, these I reckon will give you a good lift. Abraham Lincoln

ALL THE REST – April 19

Today's Quotations – HAPPINESS

Today's Short Words of Wisdom

Today's Word – INCALESCENT

Today's Fact