Two Groaners - with a moral?
A Babylonian general was declared a traitor for leading a revolt. He
escaped the night before he was to be executed and hid in an old Babylonian ziggurat, or
temple, where he expected to find some of his associates. Not finding them, he began to
burn the papers they had left and was immediately recaptured.
Moral of the story--Warning! The searchin' general has determined that smoking ziggurats
may be hazardous to your stealth.
Two eskimos were paddling in their kayak along the Alaskan coastline. They were out there
for a long time and they started to get cold. During one of their breaks they lit a fire
to warm up, but tragically their kayak caught fire and they drowned.
Moral of the story: you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
The Pastor's Dinner
A clergyman had just enjoyed a hearty chicken dinner at the home of a
rural parishioner. Gazing out the window, he remarked: "That rooster seems a mighty
proud and happy bird." "He should," the host replied. "His oldest son
just entered the ministry."
- Bits & Pieces, March 31,1994 -VIA Wit and Wisdom
tables.
Breaking Sad News:
The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven.
He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy
any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the
ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon or so learning the
languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to
pore over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy
Reading" to the original script.
All of a sudden there is a scream in the library.
The angels come running to him, only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, crying to
himself, and muttering, "An 'R'! They left out the 'R'." God takes him aside,
offering comfort and asks him what the problem is. After collecting his wits, the Pope
sobs again, "It's the letter 'R' ... the word was supposed to be
CELEBRATE!".
There are two lasting
bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.
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