A Time to
Speak
A couple has their first child, a little boy. As he grows older, he shows
all the signs of normal development but fails to begin speaking. They take him to all
sorts of doctors and specialists, who confirm that he apparently understands everything
said to him and displays an intelligent perception of his surroundings and circumstances.
Yet he never utters a single word, and years of effort fail to correct the problem.
One day, when he is about eighteen years old, the family is seated around the dinner
table. The son takes one bite of his casserole and says, "Egads, mother! Are you
trying to poison me? This stuff tastes like you scraped it off a compost heap!" The
parents are stunned for a moment, and then exclaim, "Son! You can speak! For eighteen
years you've never uttered a word, and now you speak!" The son nonchalantly replies,
"Well, up until now, everything's been OK."
Can't tell the Players
witout a program
Jon bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A
neighbor suggested that he cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other
horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other
horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.
The neighbor suggested Jon notch the ear of one horse. That worked fine until the other
horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them
apart.
The neighbor suggested he measure the horses for height. When he did, he was very pleased
to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.
Near
Death Experience
A blonde had a near death experience the other day when she went horseback
riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She
tried with all of her might to hang on, but was thrown off. With her foot caught in the
stirrup, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce on the ground as
the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as the blonde was giving up hope, and
losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager came out and unplugged it .
The Clocks of
Heaven
A Cajun dies and goes to heaven, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates
and escorts him in. They are walking down the Great Hall and the Cajun notices that the
walls are lined with clocks with peoples names under them. The Cajun asks St. Peter what
is the meaning of all these clocks?
St Peter replies "these clocks tell us how many lies people have told
in their lifetime"." For example, look at the Popes clock" "he
says," the hands have never moved." "look at Mother Teresa's, the hands
moved only one number, that means she only lied once in her life."
The Cajun studied all the clocks and asked St. Peter," where is the
clock for former President Bill Clinton."
St. Peter thought for a second or two and replied, " Oh , that's the
one we use in the dining room as a ceiling fan."
na. Many newts and salamanders are nocturnal.
Though they are inconspicuous and seemingly obscure they are really quite abundant. In
some woods and forests, the total mass of these animals may outweigh that of all birds and
mammals combined.
Send Mail to 
