Seeing Eye
Dogs
Two guys are walking their dogs one afternoon. One guy, walking his
German Shepard, asks the other if he's hungry and wants to go for lunch. The second guy, with his
Chihuahua, says sure and he knows a great place around the corner but they don't allow dogs
inside. The first guy says no problem; they'll go in separately to avoid suspicion and say
that their dogs are their seeing eye dogs.
So the first guy goes to the restaurant to get a table. The waiter says he's sorry but no
dogs allowed. The man replies that his German Shepard is his seeing eye dog. The waiter
apologizes and seats the man. The guy tells the waiter that he's expecting a friend.
The second guy arrives at the restaurant with his Chihuahua. The waiter tells him that no
dogs are allowed. The man tells the waiter that his dog is his seeing eye dog. The waiter
says "Oh, come on, a Chihuahua as a seeing eye dog?!?".
The man says "Is *that* what they gave me?"
Source:David A. Rinke II / Funny Pages Mailing List
Camel
Love
Two young camels, a male and a female, once met in a remote corner of the
Sahara. They found themselves immediately attracted to one another and a budding romance
ensued. As this romance developed, they decided that they wanted to share their lives with
each other, so they got married in a convenient oasis. At an appropriate length of time
after the wedding, they became the proud parents of a baby boy camel and were ecstatically
happy with their new child. Their only concern was that their new baby boy camel had only
one hump. For this reason, they named him Humphrey.
Bragging
At a party, a man was bragging about his new van, "...and you can
work out of it, too. It has a cellular phone, a fax machine, a built-in computer, even a
VCR and TV..."
A voice cut in, "Don't forget the driver's side windbag."
Insurance
An agent was trying to sell flood insurance to a business owner who has
already fire insurance. The owner was steadfast, he didn't want any flood insurance.
Finally the agent asked him why. "I don't know how to start a flood," replied
the owner.
A wife sent her husband and their daughter to the health food store with a carefully prepared shopping list. They returned with a booty of
Brussel sprouts, organically grown tomatoes, wild rice, tofu, veggie burgers and a box of sugar cookies.
The man noticed his wife's glare when she pulled out the cookies. So he said, "Hey, this box of cookies has one-third less sugar AND fat than usual!"
"Really? Why is that?" the mother asked.
"We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he replied.
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