A frog is looking for a loan, so he goes into a bank. He sits down at a desk and the name
plate says "Patty Whac". He talks to Patty about the loan and she asks him what
he has for collateral. The frog replies well I have this vase. He pulls the vase out of a
bag to show her. Patty says "well thats just a cheap knick-knack". Then the
owner notices the vase and says to himself "gee that's from the 17th century, it's
worth tons of money" So he walks over to patty and says "Thats no knick-knack
Patty Whac give the frog a loan".
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING
OLD WHEN...
Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
You look forward to spending a quiet evening at home.
Your back goes out more often than you do.
You know all the answers, but no one asks you the questions.
Your mind makes agreements your body can't keep.
You finally get it all together and can't remember where you put it.
You start having bran flakes and prune juice for breakfast.
You remember today that your birthday was yesterday.
You get worn-out dialing long distance.
You have more hair on your body than on your head.
Your favorite newspaper column is "25 Years Ago Today."
It's True
A young woman had given birth in the elevator of a New Delhi hospital, and
was embarrassed about it. One of the nurses, in an effort to console her, said,
"Don't feel bad. Why, only two years ago a lady delivered in the front yard of the
hospital." With that the new mother burst out crying.'I know," she said, 'that
was me, too.'
(Shared by Chalapathi Rao Poduri via HUMOR Digest)
Sharing a Car
A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street
from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy
a car. After the purchase, they drove it home and parked in on the street between their
est
ablishments.
A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new
car. It didn't need a wash, so he ran out and asked the priest what he was doing.
"I'm blessing it," the priest replied.
The rabbi considered this a moment, then said, "Oh," and ran back inside the
synagogue. He reappeared a moment later with a hacksaw, ran to the back of the car and cut
off the last two inches of the tailpipe..
jokes@gag-o-matic.lowcomdom.com
The Smuggler
While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped
by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What's in the
bags?", asked the guard.
"Sand," said the cyclist.
"Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard.
The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but
sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border.
Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags,
which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one
day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear.
A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you
sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across
the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smuggling?"
"Bicycles!".
Source: Roshan's Humour Lis
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