June 18, 2001 All the Rest

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If Religion Were Baseball
(SMILE)

Calvinists would believe the game is fixed.

Lutherans would believe they can't win, but trust the Scorekeeper.

Quakers won't swing.

Unitarians can catch anything.

Amish would walk a lot.

Pagans would sacrifice.

Jehovah's Witnesses would be thrown out often.

Televangelists would get caught stealing.

Episcopalians would pass the plate.

Evangelicals would make the pitch.

Fundamentalists would balk.

Mormons would stay in left field.

Dunkers are down by three.

Adventists would have a seventhinning stretch.

Atheists would refuse to have an Umpire.

Baptists would like to play hardball best.

Premillenialists expect the game to be called on account of darkness.

Catholics would stop the game to confess every error.

Buddhists would blame it on bad karma.

Whoops – I Wish I hadn't said that!
A Quotation that the speaker probably wishes he could take back.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. "

- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.

ALL THE REST JUNE 18