ALL THE REST —  July 11
  

 

Today's Quotations – Laughter:

 


One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.

  Jane Austen



He who laughs last didn't get it.

  Helen Giangregorio



Laughter is inner jogging.

   Norman Cousins



If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.

Ed Howe



Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

 Bob Newhart



Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they might of been.

  William Hazlitt



A good laugh is sunshine in a house.

Author unknown



Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

Jack Handey


 

word puzzle
  Today's Word – PUERILE
   

 


pu·er·ile adjective 1. Belonging to childhood; juvenile. 2. Immature; childish. Synonym young.


This and a certain tinge of superstition were the only unusual traits in his character which his brother officers had observed. The latter peculiarity took the form of a dislike to being left alone, especially after dark. This puerile feature in a nature which was conspicuously manly had often given rise to comment and conjecture.

The Adventure of the Crooked Man
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle


The Chicago Times ( 1863 ) on the Gettysburg Address:

". . . we did not conceive it possible that even Mr Lincoln would produce a paper so slipshod, so loose-joined, so puerile, not alone in literary construction, but in its ideas, its sentiments, its grasp. He has outdone himself. He has literally come out of the little end of his own horn. By the side it, mediocrity is superb."


Definition from American Heritage Dictionary

 

Today's Fact

 

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Central America
A small land with great variety


Central America consists of six countries: Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama and Belize. The total area of Central America is considerably smaller than the state of Texas. Central America is a land bridge between the two continents of North America and South America. The radically different Northern hemisphere and Southern hemisphere, are joined by Central America. The difference in character of the two continents provides for the many fascinations of Central America.

The entire region of Central America lies within the Neo-tropics. Though the countries all lie within this same area there are great differences in their climate and landscape. The Caribbean coast of Central America is generally low, hot and wet. It is a flat landscape where strong and heavy rains whip the mangrove lined lagoons into a froth. The Pacific coast is drier and steeper. On this coast the booming surf crashes against the coast and rocky headlands. In the dry season the inland trees loose their leaves. Within the small area of land that makes up Central America there are volcanoes, jungles and slow moving streams. Nearby there are pine covered highlands adjacent to hot, arid valleys with stands of tall cactus. In other areas there are densely forested mountains with fast running rivers, rapids and steeply plunging falls. There are high limestone plateau jungles and lowland swampy jungles.

There are few places on earth where the forces of nature are in so obvious and active interplay. The winds and weather of two great oceans meet above the jungles and mountains of Central America. In parts of Panama the two oceans are fewer than 50 miles apart. There are also places on the Atlantic shore that it is possible to reach the Pacific coast by traveling due east. Central America also lies in the path of tropical storms and hurricanes. Central America is an area of great geological activity. These many factors combine to make these countries subject to more than their share of nature's rampages. All of these influences have given Central America its luxuriance, complexity and remarkable abundance and variety of life. Over the next several days we will look at some of the plants and creatures of this remarkable area created by God.

Tomorrow - More Central America



Let every created thing give praise to the Lord,
for he issued his command, and they came into being.
Psalm 148:5 (NLT)

 

 

clown
Today's SMILE

 

   

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

 
   

 

 

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

 

A FEW SMILES   

 

 

  

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young Engineer fresh out of Stanford, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"

And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."

From Lorne Strang


One day a frog hops into a bar, jumps up on the stool, and asks the bartender if he has any grapes. The bartender says no, so the frog hops away .

The next day, the frog hops into the bar and asks the bartender if he has any grapes. The bartender says no, so the frog hops away.

The next day, the frog hops into the bar and asks the bartender if he has any grapes. The bartender say, "No, I don't have any grapes, and the next time you ask, I'll nail you to the wall." So the frog hops away.

The next day, the frog hops in and asks the bartender, "Do you have any nails?" the bartender says no, so then the frogs says, "Well in that case, do you have any grapes?"

From Lorne Strang


Stress Management

Picture yourself near a stream.

Birds are singing in the crisp, cool mountain air.

Nothing can bother you here.

No one knows this secret place.

You are in total seclusion from that place called the world.

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

The water is clear.

You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water.

There now, feeling better? .


While I was employed by a private corporation and assigned to the space-shuttle program, my job included ordering supples. One of the engineers asked me to get a new dictionary for him. The request form said, "State reason this item is needed," so I asked him why he wanted one.

I expected his answer would be "My old copy is lost" or "The cover is falling off." Instead he replied, "My edition defines spaceship as an 'imaginary aircraft.' " He got his new dictionary.

~~Reader's Digest

AdamsCathy@aol.com


 

As a copy editor for a large metropolitan newspaper edited a story on the United Nations, he wondered aloud about the Secretary General's name, Boutros Boutros-Ghali.

A coworker said he had heard that Boutros was Arabic for Peter. One of the other editors said he'd like to know the meaning of Ghali.

A voice from across the room suggested, "Pumpkin Eater?""

AdamsCathy@aol.com


A rare delicacy is Sautéed Sloth.

Using the middle toe of the great Australian three-toed sloth, the only edible part of that large, furry, indolent creature, the careful chef debones it, pounds it as with veal, and sautés it briefly over a hot flame with shallots, carrot circles, and just a touch of Tabasco.

Prepared in this fashion, sloth is an excellent main course, not unlike alligator in texture and taste.

Many people are under the false impression that sloth does not make a good meal, but this is because they've eaten it improperly prepared.

It can only be sautéed, a fact unappreciated in culinary circles.

Too many cooks ....... broil the sloth.




TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

 


I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

 

T
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~ The Letter ~



Kathleen went to her mail box and there was only one letter. She picked it up and looked at it before opening, but then she looked at the envelope again. There was no stamp, no postmark, only her name and address. She read the letter:

Dear Kathleen:

I'm going to be in your neighborhood Saturday afternoon and I'd like to stop by for a visit.

Love Always, Jesus Her hands were shaking as she placed the letter on the table. "Why would the Lord want to visit me? I'm nobody special. I don't have anything to offer." With that thought, Kathleen remembered her empty kitchen cabinets. "Oh my goodness, I really don't have anything to offer. I'll have to run down to the store and buy something for dinner."

She reached for her purse and counted out its contents. Five dollars and forty cents. "Well, I can get some bread and cold cuts at least."

She threw on her coat and hurried out the door. A loaf of French bread, a half pound of sliced turkey, and a carton of milk...leaving Kathleen with grand total of twelve cents to last her until Monday.

Nonetheless, she felt good as she headed home, her meager offerings tucked under her arm. "Hey lady, can you help us, lady?"

Kathleen had been so absorbed in her life and her dinner plans, she hadn't even noticed two figures huddled in the alleyway. A man and a woman, both of them dressed in little more than rags "Look lady, I ain't got a job, ya know, and my wife and I have been living out here on the street, and, well, now it's getting cold and we're getting kinda hungry and, well, if you could help us, lady, we'd really appreciate it."

Kathleen looked at them both. They were dirty, they smelled bad and frankly, she was certain that they could get some kind of work if they really wanted to.

"Sir, I'd like to help you, but I'm a poor woman myself. All I have is a few cold cuts and some bread, and I'm having an important guest for dinner tonight and I was planning on serving that to Him."

"Yeah, well, okay lady, I understand. Thanks anyway." The man put his arm around the woman's shoulders, turned and he headed back into the alley. As she watched them leave, Kathleen felt a familiar twinge in Her heart. "Sir, wait!"

The couple stopped and turned as she ran down the alley after them.

"Look, why don't you take this food. I'll figure out something else to serve my guest."

She handed the man her grocery bag. "Thank you lady. Thank you very much!" "Yes, thank you!" It was the man's wife, and Kathleen could see now that she was shivering. "You know, I've got another coat at home. Here, why don't you take this one."

Kathleen unbuttoned her jacket and slipped it over the woman's shoulders. Then smiling, she turned and walked back to the street...without her coat and with nothing to serve her guest. "Thank you lady! Thank you very much!"

Kathleen was chilled by the time she reached her front door, and worried too. The Lord was coming to visit and she didn't have anything to offer Him. She fumbled through her purse for the door key. But as she did, she noticed another envelope in her mailbox.

That's odd. The mailman doesn't usually come twice in one day." She took the envelope out of the box and opened it.

Dear Kathleen:

It was so good to see you again. Thank you for the lovely meal. And thank you, too, for the beautiful coat.

Love Always, Jesus The air was still cold, but even without her coat, Kathleen no longer noticed.

Author unknown

 

Have A Great Day !

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Soul Food July 11

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Today in History July 11

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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.