ALL THE REST —  August 8
  

For The Birds
Passenger Pigeons

Passenger pigeons are probably one of the best known recent examples of an animal becomming extinct. It is hard to imagine how this now extinct animal could have once been so abundant. In the early part of the 19th century approximately 45% of the total bird population of the North America was passenger pigeons. The population of this prolific bird was estimated at several thousand million.

John James Audubon reported on one large flock that took three days to pass overhead. During that time he reported that the sun was blocked out making the daylight appear as though the sun was eclipsed. He estimated the size of the flock at 3 billion birds. The pigeons flew over at the rate of 300 million birds an hour. The sound of the flapping wings could be heard 6 miles away. Audubon said it sounded like "a hard gale at sea ..." When the birds landed they took up an area forty miles long by 3 miles wide.

With this great number of birds it was thought that they would never need protection. Unfortunately, this was not the case. The bountiful birds tasted delicious. In New England during the 1700's, pigeon pie was a regular delicacy. Passenger pigeons sold for 6 for a penny.

The birds were also easy to hunt. A single shotgun blast could bring down as many as 200 birds. If the birds flew over a hill, they could even be knocked out of the air with long poles. Other, even less sporting, ways were devised to capture the birds. It was discovered that sulfur burning beneath a roosting flock could kill millions of pigeons in a few hours. The birds loved salt. Artificial salt beds were made. The hungry birds would land on the salt bed and be quickly and easily netted. Sometimes grain would be soaked in alcohol and spread on the ground. The birds would drop from the sky to eat the grain. The alcohol would cause the birds to become drunk. The drunken birds were easily netted or shot. Another method for capturing the birds gave rise to the term 'stool pigeon.' A pigeon would be nailed to a stool or a tree branch. The cries of alarm from the stricken bird would attract thousand of other birds. Those birds in turn, would be shot or netted.

Probably the last stand for the passenger pigion was near Petoskey, Michigan in 1878. Billions of birds were roosting in a flock five miles long by one mile wide. A band of local hunters took thirty days to shoot the entire lot. Three hundred tons of dead birds were shipped off to market from this final stronghold of passenger pigeons. The numbers of birds were greatly diminished. There were no more giant flocks. The last known wild passenger pigeon was shot near Quebec, Canada in 1907. There were several passenger pigeons in zoos, but these never bred satisfactorily. The last known passenger pigeon, Martha, died September 1, 1914. She was age 29, and a resident of the Cincinnati Zoo.

Source: PANATI'S extraordinary Endings of Practically Everything and Everybody
 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

 

Two old guys wonder if there's baseball in heaven. They promise each other that the first to die will somehow let the other one know if there is baseball in heaven. A short time later, one of the men dies. A week later the remaining friend recognizes the voice of his departed friend coming from the clouds. "Joe," says the voice, "I've got some good news and some bad news." "The good news is that there is baseball in heaven. The bad news is that you're pitching this Friday."

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A young man staggered into the small-town bakery at the crack of dawn on an extremely cold, wet, and stormy morning. "Thank heavens you are open," he gasped. "Do you have fresh double chocolate muffins?"

When the baker nodded , a huge smile broke out on the young man's face. "It's worth the trip, then - she'll be so happy. It will make her day!"

The baker nodded with understanding. "Are these for your mother, then?" he asked.

"Would my mother send me out on a day like this?" returned the young man with an incredulous look. "And would I go."

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A scientist discovered a way of cloning people and humbly decided that the most appropriate person to clone would be himself. The clone turned out to be someone who looked just like the scientist and was just as intelligent, but he had an unexpected, disturbing trait. The clone would constantly speak obscenities, loudly, with no regard his surroundings.

The scientist, disturbed about possible damage to his reputation, took the clone to a tall building and pushed him out an open window to his death.

The next day, the scientist was arrested for making an obscene clone fall.

From: The Funny Pages Mailing List

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All true wisdom is found on T-shirts

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A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport.  After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles.  The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOODNESS!"

Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap.  You should see the front of my pants!"

A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"

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If it's free, it's advice;
If you pay for it, it's counseling;
If you can use either one, it's a miracle!

From Kasha Linka

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A couple of boajes in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the boajes walked into the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." 

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The boaj said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned A minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

 "All right. How long do you need them?"

The boaj paused for a minute and said, "Uh... I'd better go check." 

After a while, the boaj returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."

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TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

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