ALL THE REST —  August 18
  

For the Birds
The Hooded Pitohuis

Until a few years ago, none of the world's nearly 9,000 species of birds was known to produce any kind of toxin. It was thought that there was no such thing as a poisonous bird. About 6 years ago, John Dumbacher, an ornithologist working in Papua New Guinea, scratched his hand while freeing a hooded pitohui from a collecting net, his first instinct was to suck the wound. This was a bad move, for he immediately experienced a numbing and burning in his mouth. Subsequent tests discovered homobatrachtoxin, a powerful natural nerve toxin, in its feathers, skin and flesh.

This discovery makes the pitohuis the first known poisonous birds. The hooded pitohui is a brilliant orange-and-black songbird. Like many other poisonous animals, the pitohuis also emit a foul odor and advertise their unsavory nature with bright colors. A couple of years later, ornithologists in the rainforests of Papua New Guinea claim to have found a second `toxic' bird called the variable pitohui. Phil Gregory, who publishes Muruk, the country's ornithological journal, said: "I was give a juvenile variable pitohui and when I licked the feathers I felt my mouth tingle and go numb."

The New world poison dart frogs also are brightly colored. Some of these frogs emit a rather unpleasant odor. The interesting thing is that the poison dart frogs of the Western Hemisphere also produce a neurotoxin in their skin. The puzzling thing is that the Old World bird and the New World frog both produce homobatrachotoxin, the same poison. This potent neurotoxin is a very complex chemical. Evolutionists are at a loss to explain how two animals that are geographically and taxonomically so far separated could possibly synthesizs the identical complex chemical. They say that both species, "though far-separated taxonomically, traveled along the same path of random mutations to achieve this evolutionary convergence."
   
 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

 

Insurance Claims:

THE FOLLOWING ARE ACTUAL STATEMENTS FOUND ON INSURANCE FORMS WHERE CAR DRIVERS ATTEMPTED TO SUMMARIZE THE DETAILS OF AN ACCIDENT IN THE FEWEST POSSIBLE WORDS. THE INSTANCES OF FAULTY WRITING SERVE TO CONFIRM THAT EVEN INCOMPETENT WRITING CAN BE HIGHLY ENTERTAINING

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.

 

---

Two birds - one stone

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: "Da-ad..."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"

"No. You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..."

"WHAT??!!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

---

 

THE REPLACEMENT ORGANIST

The church organist was ill, and the church secretary had hastily arranged a replacement.

"All right," said the minister from the pulpit, "Let's all sing hymn number 132."

"Sorry, Reverend," said the organist, "I don't know that one."

"That's all right," said the minister. "We'll sing hymn number 76 instead. We all know that one."

""Sorry, Reverend," said the organist, "I don't know that one either."

"Well, don't worry about that," said the minister. "Let's sing hymn number 684. That's a simple song that we all learnt in Sunday School."

The organist said, "I'm sorry, Reverend..."

Before she could finish, however, someone shouted from the back: "The organist is an IDIOT!"

"Now wait a moment," said the minister, "that's no way for a Christian to speak. I want that man to stand up!"

No one stood up.

"All right," said the minister, "if he won't stand up, I want the person NEXT to him to stand up!"

Still no one stood up.

After an awkward silence, a little man at the back stood up and said: "Reverend, I didn't call the organist an idiot, and I'm not sitting next to the man who did. But what I want to know is, who in the world called that idiot an "ORGANIST"?"

 

---

Have you heard about the guy who lived up in the North woods near the Minnesota-Wisconsin border. So near he really wasn't sure which side he was on. Finally, he arranged for a surveyor to check out where the state line was. It turned out they were on the Wisconsin side of the line, so of course he was so relieved he told his wife "Thank goodness! We don't have to put up with any more of those awful Minnesota winters!"

---

---

---

TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done.
Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

Daily Miscellany Comics

Have A Great Day !

Phillip Bower

Soul Food for August 18

History for August 18