Three squaws were each preparing for the birth of their first child. The first squaw
placed a large bear hide by a river, the second squaw placed an elk hide by a tree by a
river, and the third squaw placed a hippopotamus hide by a path, near the river and the
tree so that the three formed a triangle.
It just so happens that all three women gave birth on the same day. The first squaw on
the bear hide had a 5-lb son, the second squaw on the elk hide had a 6-lb son, and the
third squaw on the hippopotamus hide had an 11-lb son.
To this day, mathematicians credit these three women with the first proof of the
Pythagorean Theorem: "The son of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons
of the squaws of the two adjacent hides."
From: William H. Rayborn - Bill's Punch Line - By Shirley
pnst@voicenet.co
A farmer in the country noticed that a gentleman would fish at the lake (close to the
farmer's house) and would always leave with a stringer full of fish. The fellow had a boat
but a fishing pole was not to be seen. The farmer mentioned the situation to the lake
ranger. The ranger then started watching this man and all that the farmer said was true!
The man would arrive at the lake in the morning and by early afternoon, he had a stringer
full of fish. The ranger dressed like a fisherman one day and approached the man. They
exchanged pleasantries and the stranger asked the ranger in disguise to come fish with
him. They boated for 45 minutes and arrived at a secluded spot. The stranger then pulled
out a stick of dynamite.
Ranger: "I'm going to have to place you under arrest I am a Ranger and you are
fishing illegally!"
The stranger calmly lit the stick of dynamite and handed it to the ranger.
Stranger: "Are you gonna talk or fish?"
From: "Funny
Pages Mailing List" funny-pages@plato.ens.gu.edu.au
There's no
pleasing some guys!
This elderly couple met their
demise in an auto accident and were transported to Heaven. The faithful couple were
recognized by St. Peter and escorted into the welcome center, where they began to take in
all the wonder and amazement of the place. St. Peter
pointed out the food court and told them that they could of course eat anything and not
worry about their health. The husband especially began partaking of the pastries and
deserts.
The wife was amazed at the beauty, the peace and the joy she felt and commented over and
over about what a nice place Heaven was and how happy she felt to be there. However,
the husband began looking quite grim. His wife inquired what the problem was.
The husband sneered, "If it weren't for you and your oat bran muffins & health
food, we'd probably have been here 15 years ago!"
from:Kasha Linka KashaL@concentric.net
If
Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? |
A mother was teaching her
3 year old daughter the Lord's prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she
repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The
mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end
"Lead us not into temptation" she prayed, "but deliver us some
E-mail, Amen"."
from:Kasha Linka
KashaL@concentric.net
Did you hear about the seminarian who argued that
Noah had the best hearing in the Bible?
When asked to back up his claim, he pointed out that it was God Himself who insisted that
Noah *herd* everything.
The Blond Woman
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small
town. He's going through his usual run of stupid blond jokes, when a big blond woman in
the fourth row stands on her chair and says: "I've heard just about enough of your
denigrating blond jokes!
What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical
attributes have to do with their worth as a human being?
It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my
community, of reaching my full potential as a person ... because you and our kind continue
to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large ... all in the
name of humor."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, but the blond stops him.
"You stay out of this. Mister, I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"
TRUE FACT ...
Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year
olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.
|
More of a body's weight comes from muscle
than from bone. There are about 656 muscles in the body. Some authorities will place this
number as high as 850. No exact figure is available because authorities disagree about
which are separate muscles and which ones slip off of larger ones. There is also a
variability between one person and another.
