ALL THE REST —  October 27
  

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You Might Be In Education If...

You believe the staff room should have a valium salt lick.

You find humor in other people's stupidity.

You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to have  all you holidays and summers free."

You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

You believe "shallow gene pool" should have it's own box on the report card.

You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids are sure mellow today."

When out in public, you feel the urge to talk to strange children  and correct their behavior.

Marking all A's on the report card would make your life SOOOO much simpler.

When you mention "vegetables" and you're not talking about a food  group.

You think people should be required to get a government permit  before being allowed to reproduce.

You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.

You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

You really encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.

You've ever had your profession slammed by someone who would  NEVER DREAM of doing your job.

You can't have children of your own, because there is NO name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it.

Meeting a child's parents INSTANTLY answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?""

Just 4 Laughs

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History of Mathematical Education

1940: A farmer sells 1 sack of potatoes for 2 dollars...
                      2 sacks for 4 dollars
                      3 for 6
                      4 x 2 = 8
                      5 x 2 = 10 ...
       How much would the farmer receive for 9 sacks?
       (show all arithmetic work)
       How much would the farmer receive for 3.5 sacks at 2.75 dollars per sack?
       How much would the farmer receive for 4.2 sacks at 3.02 dollars per sack?
       How much would the farmer receive for 7.67 sacks at 5.98 dollars per sack?

1950: A farmer sells a sack of potatoes for $2.00.  The cost of producing it is 4/5 of the price. What is the profit?

1960: A farmer sells a sack of potatoes for $2.00.  The cost of producing it is $1.60. Please figure out the profit.

1970: A farmer sells a set of potatoes (A) for a set of  money (B).  B is the set of all parts of B for which is: B is a dime.  In the dash-set, you have to for   the set of B, do (////////////////////) twenty small dashes, one for each dime. The set of the cost of  producing (C) is sixteen (////////////////) small dashes.

Draw the set of C as a part set of the set B and give the resulting set (D) which gives the answer for the question: What size has the profit set.

1980: A farmperson sells a sack of potatoes for $2.00. The cost of producing is 4/5 thereof, which is $1.60.  The profit is 1/5, equal to $0.40. Underline the word "potatoes" and discuss it with your math study group.

1990: A farmer can produce a sack of potatoes at a cost of $2.00. These potatoes can not be exported due to foreign trade barriers and New World Order global policy.  But, the US        Government will buy them for $1.60 at taxpayers expense and ship them to any country that is at war with itself and/or its   neighbor. How many potatoes will this farmer have to fry at        MacDonalds in order to qualify this as a career move after retraining at the government's expense? Multiple choice:
a). is  that a LARGE fries?
b). this answer will be considered a correct answer by all who  have been deprived of the background experiences necessary to know the difference between growing potatoes and frying potatoes.
c). would ye lik somthin to drink with that?
d). there are insufficient facts to derive more than a  theoretical exegesis of the presently evolving social structure.
e). is that fer here or ta go?

2000: A US farmer can produce a sack of potatoes at a cost of 2000 yen.......

Just 4 Laughs

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BOILING BIRDS


According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds, has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: 

Wash. Biol. Surv. until the agency received the following letter from a camper: 

"Dear Sirs: 

While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you, it was horrible." 

The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service. 

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Argument

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'" 

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

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Do You Believe In...

In discussing religion with a couple, I asked the man, 'Do you believe in life after death?' 

His wife spoke up. 'Shucks, he doesn't believe in life after supper.'

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TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University