ALL THE REST —  November 27
  

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Three Friars

Three friars were banished from their monastery for various rule violations, so they decided to start a business together. They traveled around until they found a town that they liked, and opened up a plant shop. Their floral business was soon thriving.

One day, a woman was shopping at the friar's store, and while she was strolling down an aisle with her toddler, a large plant reached out, grabbed the child, and ate it. Needless to say, the women was quite upset at the loss of her child. However, the friars refused to believe that one of their plants could have done such a thing. The woman told all of her friends about the incident, and soon everyone in the town was in an uproar. They decided to kick the friars out of town. Every person in the town, except for a man named Hugh, gathered outside of the friars shop, shouting, waving sticks, and demanding that they leave. But the friars said, ''No. We're not leaving''. So the townspeople gave up and went home.

Well, a couple weeks later, another woman was walking through the friar's shop, looking at plants with her baby, when a plant grabbed her child and ate it. She ran through the streets screaming that a plant had swallowed her baby. The townspeople were outraged, and again gathered outside the floral shop (except for Hugh), waving torches, and demanding that the friars leave town at once. But the friars said, ''No way'' and all the people gave up and went home.

A few days later, yet another woman dared to take her child into the floral shop. She held her infant tightly in her arms, but it was no use. A large ficus wrestled the child from her arms, and ate it. When the townspeople heard of this, they were extremely upset. They again gathered outside the friar's store (except for Hugh), yelling and threatening bodily harm to the friars if they didn't leave town. But the friars said, ''We're staying''.

So, the citizens gave up and began to go home.

Just then, Hugh showed up. He walked up to the friars, and said, ''Get out of town, now!'' The friars immediately packed up all their belongings and fled that very day, never to be heard from again.

The moral of this story?: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

J. Glutting - A friend at work

 

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Texas Welcome

A little guy from New York goes to Dallas on business. He checks into a fifty-story hotel and is escorted to a suite the size of a ballroom. He goes down to the bar and is served a drink in a glass that's so big he has to hold it with both hands. He remarks on its size to the bartender, who says, "Everything is big in Texas, buddy."

In the dining room later, he orders a steak. When it gets there, the slab of beef is so large it hangs over the rim of the plate. He remarks on the steak's size to the waiter, who says, "Everything is big in Texas, buddy."

Thoroughly overwhelmed by the immensity of everything, the little guy decides it's time to head back to his room and try out his super-king-size bed. But on the way to his room he loses his way in the maze of the hotel's vast corridors. Opening the door to a pitch dark room, he enters and stumbles into a swimming pool.

In a panic, he starts yelling, "Don't flush! Don't flush!"

Gag-O-Matic Joke Server / da_joke_list@lists.best.com

 

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For the Love of Golf

 

A man who was an avid golfer finally got a once in a lifetime chance for an audience with the Pope.  After standing in line for hours, he got to the Pope and said, "Holiness, I have a question that only you can answer. You  see, I  love golf, and I feel a real need to know if there is a golf course in heaven. Can you tell me if there is?"

The Pope considered for a moment, and replied, "I do not know the answer to your question, my son, but I will talk to God and get back with you."

The next day, the man is called for another audience with the Pope to receive the answer to his question. He stood before the Pope, who said, "My son, I have some good news and some bad news in relation to your question. The good news is that heaven has the most fabulous golf course that you could imagine and is in eternally perfect shape. It puts all courses on
earth to shame...

"The bad news is that you have a tee time for tomorrow morning."

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TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University