THE REST –    December 2 & 3
  

TODAY'S QUESTION

In what year did Christmas officially become a national holiday? 

Previous Question and Answer: 

Question: What northern "rust belt" state leads the nation in the growing of Christmas trees? 

Answer: Michigan 

Questions and answers from: J. Stephen Lang, The Big Book of American Trivia (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1997).

Christmas Quotation, Fact and Inspiration.

Advent 1 - Friday, December 1, 2000

Advent 2 - Saturday, December 2, 2000

Advent 3 - Sunday, December 3, 2000

The Preacher

A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the church yard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the preacher to the health department. They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department. The sanitation manager said he could not pick up the mule without authorization from the mayor.

Now the preacher knew the mayor and was not to eager to call him. The mayor had a bad temper and was generally hard to deal with, but the preacher called him anyway. The mayor did not disappoint. He immediately began to rant and rave at the pastor and finally said, "Why did you call me anyway? Isn't it your job to bury the dead?" The preacher paused for a brief prayer and asked the Lord to direct his response. He was led to say, "Yes, Mayor, it is my job to bury the dead, but I always like to notify the next of kin first!"

---

TEACHER: 'Make a song with the words analyze and anatomy.'

STUDENT: 'My Anna lies over the ocean... My Anna lies over the sea... Bring back, O bring back... O Bring back my Anna to me.' 

A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, "We will all die some day, and none of us really knows when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event." Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with this comment.

Then the leader said to the group, "What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?"

One gentleman said, "I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives." "Very good," said the group leader, and all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.

One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, "I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction." "That's wonderful!" the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.

But one gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, "I would go to my mother-in-law's house for the 4 weeks." Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader asked, "Why your mother-in-law's home?" Then the gentleman smiled sarcastically and said, "Because, that would be the longest 4 weeks of my life!"

A Newfie carpenter is building a house, so he asks his cousin for some help. The carpenter is whatching his cousin put up siding and notices that he keeps throwing nails away. The cousin will pound two nails then throw away a few, pound a couple more then throw away a few more.

He says "Hey cousin why are ya throwin my nails away?"

"Cause they're pointing the wrong way."

"No cousin, those are for the other side of the house."

One day many years ago, a fisherman's wife blessed   her husband with twin sons.  They loved the children very much, but couldn't think of what to name them.   Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, "Let's not decide on names right now.  If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us."

After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a peculiar fact.    When left alone, one of the boys would always turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face away from the sea.  It didn't matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction.  "Let's call the boys Towards and Away," suggested the fisherman.  His wife agreed, and from that point on, the boys were simply known as Towards and Away.

The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong.  The day came when the aging fisherman said to his sons, "Boys, it is time you learned how to make a living from the sea."  They provisioned their ship, said their good-byes, and set sail for a three month voyage.

The three months passed quickly for the fisherman's wife, yet the ship had not returned.    Another three months passed, and still no ship.

Three whole years passed before the grieving woman saw a lone man walking towards her house.  She recognized him as her husband.  "My goodness!  What has happened to you?!" she cried.  "And what has happened to my darling boys?"

The ragged fisherman began to tell his story:

"We were just barely one whole day out to sea when Towards hooked into a great fish.    Towards fought long and hard, but the fish was more than his equal.  For a whole week they wrestled upon the waves without either of them letting up.  Yet eventually the great fish started to win the battle, and Towards was pulled over the side of our ship.  He was swallowed whole, and we never saw either of them again."

"Oh dear, that must have been terrible!  What a huge fish that must have been!    What a horrible fish.  What a foul fish."

"Yes, it was.  But you should have seen the one that got Away...."

 
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty

Daily Miscellany Comics

Have A Great Day !

Phill Bower

Soul Food December 2 & 3

Today in History December 2
Today in History December 3